EVEN APPEN MET… Manon Meijers
Corona also keeps Manon Meijers within the walls of her Amsterdam apartment, but her entrepreneurial spirit cannot be dampened. While she has just recovered from a severe flu (‘whether it was corona, we will never know’) she is typing her fingers raw for a new project. Her average screen time of five hours and thirty-one minutes remained nicely on track after this extensive app session with May.
[17:05] May:
Manon! How are you? Safe and sound in the south?
[17:59] Manon:
Dear May! So nice to hear from you… Safe & sound in Amsterdam. About four weeks ago, I parked myself in self-quarantine on IJburg with a high fever and a nasty cough just to be sure. Guus has since followed me. How are you & your family?
[19:18] May:
Oh dear, were you also a forerunner in terms of corona? I find it intense how ‘the virus’, as my daughters mysteriously call it, is spreading. I envy everyone who is bored because man, what a task it is to write, teach, and still fit into the same size by devouring about eight kilometers every day in my brand new Nike Vaporfly’s. That’s like the speed skate among running shoes and man, I’m gliding like a little Dafne Schippers through the dunes. Anyway, we’re busy with that. How about you? Is work continuing? And how is Guus doing without being able to perform? That must be terrible for him.
[19:18] May:
They are called Vaporfly but autocorrect doesn’t understand that yet :-)
[19:29] Manon:
Haha… we will never know. At least, not without testing for now. I haven’t felt bored yet… I had thought of launching a platform pre-COVID-19 (I’ll just give it the full name in the hope that the bloody bastard understands that we’ve got him figured out and leaves) and that deadline still stands. So I’m typing my fingers raw. But I also realize that the fact that I can do that is pure luxury! Guus had hardly any performances scheduled for this period. He is putting the finishing touches on his new album and this is the preparation period for Groots. That is all really really really exciting… ??????
[19:30] Manon:
*meanwhile I looked up your Vapordinges. They do look fast indeed ?
[19:32] May:
A blessing in disguise, and then just hope that COVID-19, formerly known as the bloody bastard of ‘the virus’, will be chased away again and we can enjoy your man shoulder to shoulder. But your project, can you say anything about it? I won’t tell anyone… Just write it down for our seven hundred thousand visitors, okay?
[19:33] May:
Yeah man, those Vapors are the bomb. I once made fun of everyone who ran in running gear (that’s only for Dafne Schippers con suis), but I fear I’m also sliding a bit into that world myself.
[19:40] Manon:
Oh man, May. That would really already be the coolest Groots ever. Are you in?
The Project! Yes, if they keep their mouths shut and come take a nice look: fine. I have had an incredible urge for years to really help women find their own style (forget meaningless terms like ‘boho’ and ‘rock chick’) and improve their self-image. So I’ve been seriously reading research for almost a year and a half and I’m discovering more and more that clothing is anything but superficial. And that you can dress yourself happier. Meet: The Style Shrink. Live from next Monday. We’ll start with a really cool free challenge (wait a bit with that closet cleaning, there are things you need to gain insight into first otherwise it will be a mess again) and then there will be modules you can buy. And nice texts about how you can dress yourself happily of course.
[19:41] Manon:
Hahahahahaha… I used to be one too. Don’t be ashamed of anything. I’m getting through this quarantine time on a HOMETRAINER. If you had told me that three months ago…
[19:46] May:
Ouch, a hometrainer. We’re just a small step away from bike bags and matching windbreakers. But a person has to do something, right? I already believe in The Style Shrink, if anyone knows what happiness tastes like from a new outfit, it’s me. And you’ve immediately given me a lovely reason for the fact that I haven’t cleaned out my closet yet, I was starting to feel a bit ashamed. Haven’t defrosted the freezer yet, books still not in alphabetical order or color-coded, none of that yet. I did read a book, Finnish Days by Herman Koch, I thought that was quite something. What’s the URL of The Style Shrink? And by the way, what was your screen time last week?
[19:54] Manon:
Five. Hours. And. One. And. Thirty. Minutes. Ouch. I do grocery shopping on my phone. Does that help? You are welcome at www.thestyleshrink.com. Nice. Is there actually a word for that, if you haven’t fully reset your life during this intelligent lockdown? Don’t let yourself get crazy… It’s all confusing enough. Do: wear something nice. It’s good for your self-confidence and your immune system. But regarding that last part, I trust you blindly of course. ?
[20:01] May:
Was that your daily or weekly average? Because in the case of the latter, I find it quite good. Almost a bit surprising even, is that a comfort? Speaking of screen time and messaging: you’re not very generous with emoticons, are you? Or are you so sweet that you adapt to me? I’d rather write on handmade paper with a quill than place a clenched fist emoji under a message.
[20:05] Manon:
Average per day ? -> there really should be an emoticon with that. I don’t really throw around emoticons. But it does help sometimes in terms of interpretation. And my parents are currently really getting these kinds of ❤️❤️❤️❤️?????????????❤️??????????????❤️❤️❤️❤️ messages.
[20:06] May:
Is there one that should get a one-way ticket to Mars along with COVID?
[20:06] Manon:
YES:
[20:06] May:
Show me. For once it’s allowed
[20:07] Manon:
(Everything that is angry, contemptuous, victim-like, and snorting. They’re coming)
???????
[20:08] May:
And the one with the green vomit…
[20:08] Manon:
Oh yuck. Yes. That one absolutely too!
[20:08] May:
I’m so silly that I often don’t see the difference between the faces
[20:08] Manon:
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
[20:09] May:
So, what’s the funniest group chat name?
[20:09] Manon:
THEN YOU HAVE A GOOD ONE WITH ME. I HAVE THE ANNOYING HABIT OF LIKING TO TYPE IN CAPITALS WHEN I REALLY MEAN SOMETHING.
[20:10] May:
My dad does that too, lovely
[20:10] Manon:
Hahahaha… over 60 is ook prima. Vind ik.
[20:10] May:
Zeker.
[20:11] Manon:
Nou. Minder leuk dan ik hoopte. Ik kom niet verder dan ‘Swimming clubs’. Of ‘Orcas’.
(Verrassend veel dingen met water)
[20:11] May:
Hebben de orca’s en zwemclub iets met elkaar te maken?
[20:15] Manon:
Hahaha! De zwemclub is met Pieter van den Hoogenband, zijn vrouw MarieJosé, Guus en ik. Maar de keer dat we samen gezwommen hebben is op precies 1 vinger te tellen. Waar die naam vandaan komt? Orca’s is met andere vrienden. Puur toeval.
[20:15] Manon:
Wat is jouw leukste)
[20:16] Manon:
) = ?
[20:17] May:
Al is het maar een keer geweest, toch leuk om af en toe te schermen met je Pieter van den Hoogenband-clubje. Zo heb ik een vriendin met een wijndomein (sowieso heel feestelijk) dat naast chateau Miraval ligt dat vroeger van de familie Jolie-Pitt was. Heerlijk om af en toe, bij voorkeur op een vol terras, nonchalant te vragen; En, hoe is het met Brad en Angelina?
[20:18] May:
Ik ga meteen op onderzoek uit!
[20:21] Manon:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA… nou… met het risico dat ik het erger maak, maar het zijn echt hele belangrijke en lieve vrienden. I did not intend to name drop. Anders kreeg je qua groepsapps ‘The Style Shrink’, ‘De Meeuwen’, ‘De mini’s’ en ‘Dinner & Drinks’. Dus ik denk dat ‘Zwemclub’ dan echt hi-la-risch was ?. Hóe gaat het eigenlijk met Brad en Angelina?!
[20:22] May:
Ik heb de appgroep ‘cijfertjes’ waarbij het socialmediateam en ik regelmatig screenshots van Google Analytics heen en weer sturen als we weer eens door het geluid gaan. Da’s het enige leuke aan corona: de bezoekersaantallen gaan door het dak. Verder is de grappigste denk ik de groep met de naam ‘AFSTAND HOUDEN JULLIE‘ waar mijn hardloopvriendin, haar zoon en mijn dochter in zitten. Die heet zo nadat een augurken verslindende en citroenlikkende vrouw ons luid en duidelijk toebeet dat we te dicht op elkaar renden en fietsten (‘Afstand houden, jullie’), terwijl we toch keurig de anderhalve meter marge aanhielden.
[20:23] May:
als je nog een bewijs bliefde voor mij, kippigheid; regelmatig. Autocorrect waar, ben je als ik je nodig heb???
[20:25] Manon:
Ook echt complimenten voor Amayzine. Ik verslind alles met plezier. Heb je een foto van die augurkenverslindende en citroenlikkende vrouw..? Ik bedoel… WHAT? ?
[20:25] May:
Vind het heel grappig dat jij in een appgroep zit die ‘De mini’ heet, maar dat terzijde. Tsja, Brad en Angelina. Ik geloof dat Brad zich de wijn iets te goed liet smaken de laatste tijd. Zal hem eens bellen.
[20:27] May:
Vreselijk hè? Enne… Nu we toch alles op tafel smijten… Wat is de laatste foto die je verstuurd hebt?
[20:27] Manon:
HAHAHAHAHAHA. Overbodig te zeggen dat ‘De mini’s’ niet over mij gaat… Toch? ?
[20:27] May:
Ik dácht al. Wie zijn de maxi’s? Dino’s?
[20:29] Manon:
Als je goed kijkt, zie je nog net het zadel van m’n h*metrainer.
[20:20] May:
Haha, heerlijk. En een man die iets lekkers maakt. Lieverd, zullen we stoppen? For the sake of de schermtijd? Vond het reuze met je!
[20:31] Manon:
Haha, dito! Fijne avond en blijf maar allemaal gezond, alsjeblieft!
[20:32] May:
You too. Tot Groots!
[20:33] Manon:
Yes, please ?
