KIKI’S BACHELORETTE RAMBLINGS: 10 THINGS I THOUGHT DURING EPISODE 10

Four words about this incredibly heavy episode… I. Am. Fucking. Speechless. Excusez le mot Gaab, but you and I, we need to talk. Help me out here. I became more and more traumatized during this episode, so I’m not sure if what I saw actually happened.

Did you just…
Jordy and Jethro…
SENT HOME?
This girl is not goooooooood….

Now the question is whether this is pure coincidence OR if the kiss/peck relationship has become fatal for both of them. In that case, I would advise Gaby to stop looking for the one immediately, because that’s also what guys do among themselves, Gaab. A bit of boasting about women they are impressed by. Can you blame them? And I don’t think Jordy was even talking about a French kiss, so can we please stop with this exaggerated you’ve-broken-my-trust nonsense? Thank you.

Anyway, is Joey now in the finale with NIEK? HAHAAAA. Niekie boy, nice one! Meine gute, I don’t even know where to start this episode. Maybe just at the beginning. Breathe in, breathe out. Ten thoughts about Tantoe Tiranen Terror episode Ten. Here we go.

1. First of all: naaaaaa how DELIGHTFUL the families of the men are coming by. And what a nice sister Jethro has! Spicy. Protective.

2. Speaking of family… I actually had to look three times to see who exactly was the father and who was the boyfriend (confusion confusion), but I get it now, so I’m just going to say it. I think not only Jordy, but also his father is hot. #igothotsauceinmybagswag #didisaythat #jup #zitindegenen.

3. Awh. Despite his bull neck, I find Joey, who sheds a tear with his mom, really just cute. Or something. Vulnerability in a man is just OKAY, okay? Those earrings on the other hand Jo, we still need to talk about that.

4. On a scale from one to André Hazes, how many packs of Van Nelle do you think Joey’s mother has sent off? What a lovely lady.

5. Look at Niek shining during that mini-golf date. Is this man making a comeback or what?

6. Hmmm Gaby is also talking herself into a difficult position. How many people can you get some ‘feelings’ from, sweetheart? You’re creating false hope all around, man. That Niek is completely over the moon with his princess’s little behind during the mini-golf date. Jethro is already walking with his sister and wife towards the altar. Meanwhile, Joey thinks he’s going to make babies and Jordy already knows he’s won this race. What’s going wrong here? EVERYONE IS GOING TO CRY. WHAT A HORROR.

7. Am I the only one who can only look at Gaby’s dress every episode? And that hair, how lovely, such a glam team around you every day, damn!

8. Oh no. Oh no. No, not Jethro. He’s hanging over the edge of the cliff. But Gaby is going to pull him up, right? She does that. That’s how she is. He looks at her pleadingly. Omg. She takes a run with her stiletto. Bends over…. and… steps on his hand.

Oh no.
Jethro falls.
Everything is turning red
‘What are you saying?’
Omg.
Jethro is almost crying over a relationship he never had and I’m crying along.
And then they’re also going to play a JAMES BLUNT GOODBYE MY LOVER? WHAT SADISTS IN THAT EDITING ROOM.

9. ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR JORDY SENT HOME??? JORDY SENT HOME?? I CAN’T TYPE IN CAPITALS ANYMORE. GABY WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT. ARE. YOU? WHAAAAAAAT?!

10. Damn this show is not good for your heart rate.
This was the most intense episode so far.
Just really bad for these guys.
What a mess, love. What a hassle.
Three gray hairs later.
HOW NOW GAAB?

P.S.: Heart at the bottom if the 3 J’s (Jordy, Jethro and uh, Jordy’s father, oh who cares) can CALL YOU NOW for a date.

P.P.S. Catchy tweet of the week: ‘And I must say; I’m finding Niek more and more likable. I think we underestimated him. Reality TV can be so educational.’

P.P.S.: Do you want more nonsense and TV chatter? Follow me for that real lobi on Insta @kikiduren and subscribe here on my YouTube channel so you get a notification tomorrow morning when I drop a new video with one of the Bachie-Boys who tells EVERYTHING about this intense episode.

Trust me. You don’t want to miss this.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me…

(And then on to that worst part huh. ‘Ajmmmm so hollow beeebeee.. I’m soooo hollow, I’m soooo, I’m soooo, I’m so hollow…)

*Grabs a tissue.
R.I.P. Jor and Jeet.
Sniff.