Kiki's Bachelorette Ramblings: 10 things I thought during episode 7

Okay, I'm just going to say it: this is actually quite a heavy program. Not ethical at all. The guys participating in this program are completely crazy. What if you actually fall in love? Do you know how messed up that is? That you're being driven by chemical substances, drugs in your brain, wanting to have Gaby close to you while she can just send you home with a painful dose of luduvudu? No way. THAT. IS. SAD, RIGHT?

No. It's not sad at all, because these boys knew what they were getting into and I don't know if you've seen what they've been up to on Insta and YouTube, but something tells me we don't need to feel sorry for them. Anyway, make them crazy, Gaab. We're sitting front row. Four guys on an ‘active’ date that requires muscle power. Four guys on a luxury date. Time to chat.

1. ‘When she arrives in that beautiful outfit. And then that little body going back and forth…’ And then I think: oh my god. I am vain Niekje. And I grab VIP tables. With my little lips.

2. I could theoretically say something about that gigantic tattoo on Ritchie's belly and the fact that I was just shocked by that skeleton. Could be.

3. The task is quite simple: take an Instagram-worthy photo that says something about yourself.
Kasper: ‘Is this typical for you?’

Jethro (with a fat fun head and headphones in the pool): ‘I do like a little juice, yes.’
I love Jethro. I don't know. This guy is real.

4. HAHAHA NIEHIEEEK OMG. ‘I am a vain little man. With a trimmer. A fragrance.’ A trimmer??? What a weirdo.

5. And the most awkward comment of the week goes to… Joey.

Joey: ‘You live in Amsterdam, I think. Right?’
Gaby's face: … *…*

6. Ritchie finally had his first date. Um, group date yes. With four people. Sports on the beach, well goodness whoop whoop. Not because it's Moët… Oh no, wait. Yes because it's Moët. I'm afraid for Ritchie's fate.

7. Ah, finally. Then it was time for the really chill date. Sun. Sea. And a luxury yacht. The ideal ingredients for blossoming romance. Sigh…

* Seventeen minutes later on the boat…
‘She put a tongue in, dude.’
Everyone angry, jealous, offended and all the boys want to beat Joey up $%#@.

Gotta love the drama.

8. Result? Jordy the alpha man takes his foot ‘off the gas pedal’ and actually everyone doesn't want to give Joey the date while this dude just nailed the Insta task. #NietsGunners.

9. Jordy (with one eyebrow raised): ‘What did you think of the boat trip?’

Oohhhhh…
What a question.
Mr. is really offended.
You can come cry on my shoulder, Jor.
I won't make a fuss about it.
I also eat chocolate.
And popcorn.
At the same time.
Whatever you want, darling.

10. Come on Gaab, have we finally reached the point where we dare to say goodbye to White-Rose-Jordy? That's really enough now. What an awkward conversation during the cocktail party, whooooooei. Even cutting off the conversation and saying: ‘Do I need to get someone for you?’ That was really your last chance, buddy. #BuByeJor.

P.S.: Next week… Does Joey lose his top position? Does he choke on his South African scrambled eggs in the morning or does Jordy poison him? And is Kasper going to cry now? First throwing up and then crying? That cheerful Tukker doesn't care about anything, huh? Goodness.

P.P.S.: Ritchie saying ‘thank you’ in his humblest way and giving Gaby a kiss is the sweetest ever. Great guy.

P.P.P.S.: Just a test. Heart at the bottom if you first got annoyed by Niek but now suddenly find the guy who says things like ‘I actually want to spend the whole weekend in my jogging pants’ funny. Gotta love Niek.

Do you want more nonsense and TV chatter? Follow me on Insta at @kikiduren. And I can tell you: there will soon be a lot of fun The Bachelorette news there. Mwahahaha…

Laaater batchiesssss (sounds much nicer than b*tches!), see you next week!