Rare dingen die we doen nu januari 94 dagen duurt

It's almost un-Dutch that I'm only now starting to complain about January, but it's very Dutch that I still do it while the month is almost over.

But what is it about this month that it feels so endlessly long? January feels like an air mattress that you need to let deflate but where just a bit of false air remains, that you can't squeeze out.

What you feel in January, do or would want to do and feel… 

1. Scream even harder than usual when your alarm goes off, which you've secretly set ten minutes later than you should have.

2. Complaining about not drinking in January, while you're the one to blame for that alcohol-free or alcohol-light month and then secretly having a drink after the alcohol-free Friday afternoon drinks (true story).

3. Thinking it's seven o'clock in the evening at a quarter to three in the afternoon and sighing loudly when it turns out to actually be a quarter to three. Then you check your phone every ten minutes hoping for seven o'clock and it's still only 16:22…

4. Your attention span in January is just as short and small as 2020 has been so far, and that says something, people.

5. The craving for sugar, coffee, and alcohol increases with every extra good intention, making you walk around like a bouncy ball lacking bounce.

6. You'd love to chase that energetic guy from the gym with a kettlebell around the corner, but that probably isn't allowed.

7. You secretly sleep with your eyes open and get caught more than once.

8. Going through a trillion Netflix options during lunch and having to conclude that I've seen everything between January 1 and 93.

9. Considering a Red Bull, while you last had one in 1995.

10. Telling your boss that you're taking all of January 2021 off, which you ultimately don't do.

11. Googling ‘destination’ + ’temperature in January’.

12. Going to bed at nine o'clock in the evening.

Is it already February?