Real life: ‘I am really annoyed by my friend who doesn't keep a meter and a half distance’

Lisa (29) is really annoyed with her friend Annabelle (31), who refuses to follow the advice to keep one and a half meters distance during this crisis. And that makes her think.

‘It's just a little flu and I'll survive it,’ she said to me, and that's why she didn't think it was necessary to keep that one and a half meters distance. I just didn't know what I was hearing. Didn't she realize that over a quarter of a million people have died from the coronavirus worldwide and that this is only the officially recorded deaths? Didn't she see any press conference where Rutte was publicly sighing because he didn't know what was right anymore? Didn't she see the documentary where a doctor in the intensive care unit was almost crying because he was dead scared? Didn't she realize that schools were closing for the first time since the war? I wanted to shout all of this at her in one breath, but I was too stunned to react. So I just said again that I appreciated it if she gave me that one and a half meters of space, to which she almost rolled her eyes at me. I had initially hoped that we would take a walk together to talk about this crazy time, but now I try to see her as little as possible and respond somewhat half-heartedly when she texts me.

On Instagram, I see in the meantime that she lives as if nothing is wrong. Her kids are still sitting on grandpa and grandma's lap eating cake for a birthday, on King's Day she filled her rooftop terrace with a DJ, friends, neighbors, and vague acquaintances who don't care about the measures, and she complains endlessly that she can't go out to eat. And me? I just don't recognize my friend. I find it terrible to say, but she is actually everything I hoped she wouldn't be.

Besides the fact that I am annoyed by the fact that she can't just keep her distance for those few weeks, because come on, it hasn't been that long, I find it irritating that she makes me feel like I'm the good girl of the class. I'm disappointed in her that, to put it bluntly, she can't hold her shit together until the worst peak of the coronavirus is over. Is it really such a punishment to stay home for a while and be with your family or to see a few less people than usual for a couple of months? It's so hard for me to understand her. Of course, I also find it a shame, but we're doing it to contain the virus, right? But in the meantime, she only talks about how she is healthy, and I try to explain to her every time again that that is not the goal of this whole social distancing. I honestly sometimes doubt her intelligence.

I now only see my father when I place tulips at his front door because he falls into the risk group with his autoimmune disease. And I do everything I can to ensure that I can soon have a cup of coffee at his home, at a safe distance. But not until June, we agreed, let's first see what happens when the kids go back to school. By the way, she thinks that's one big party; she immediately went shopping for a day to celebrate on that first half day they were gone.

In the Volkskrant, I read something I really identified with about friends in this crisis. ‘I love you all, but I'm angry that you don't follow the guidelines, and that's why I think you're all idiots,’ was the gist. And that's actually exactly what I think of her now, although I sometimes doubt that love.’

In this unusual time, we asked people for their honest story. To avoid hurting others, the names of Lisa and Annabelle have been changed.