Real life: “I find my friend's daughter intensely stupid”

Mara and Anneloes have been good friends for years, but since they both had a daughter, things have gone wrong. 

‘We were pregnant together, so cozy. When it turned out that we both had a daughter, we knew: best friends. We live in a village quite remote and rural, so we could completely picture it. Our girls needed no one else but each other.

That went well for a while. As babies and toddlers, but in kindergarten, I started to see patterns that I didn't like. It's common for preschoolers to be moody and grumpy, but she manipulated. When I took the girls to school, everything was fine, but when I went with my friend, she would cling to her mother like a hysteric and scream that she couldn't be left alone in class. It tore my friend apart, but when I said that the day before had gone fine and I had the feeling she was testing a bit, my friend didn't believe me.

Meanwhile, our daughters are nine years old, and I find my friend's daughter less and less likable by the day. She manipulates, tells lies, and yesterday when I unexpectedly walked onto the schoolyard (my daughter had forgotten her lunch), I saw her holding a child who is two grades lower with another girl and yelling at a boy to hit the girl. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. And now I don't know if I should call my friend to tell her this. Our relationship is already so strained because of her daughter. What do you think?’

In this unusual time, we asked people to share their honest story. To avoid hurting others, the names of Mara and Anneloes have been changed.