Real life: “I know about my father's affair”

Maya (21) has been living with her parents again since the corona crisis. She had stopped studying and since her job in the hospitality industry also disappeared, this was the only solution. She gets along well with her parents, so she didn't mind too much, but she would have preferred not to make this discovery.

‘Of course it took some getting used to living with my parents again, but I didn't find it too bad. And well, I really had no other options: due to the coronavirus, the restaurant where I worked closed its doors and with that, my income disappeared. I stopped my psychology studies and started business sciences in September. For now, everything is online, so I don't need to live on my own for that.

I am an only child and my parents always said they found it quite boring when I moved out. Of course, it was a lot quieter at home; luckily my parents didn't live far from the city I moved to, so I still came home regularly. However, in the last two years — the time I lived on my own — I got the idea that my parents had more trouble with it than they let on.

My mother started visiting me more often spontaneously in the city. To have coffee or to have lunch. We have always had a good bond, but we didn't really do these kinds of things often. She even came by in the evenings sometimes to have a glass of wine with me. Or to say hello spontaneously at the restaurant where I worked. I found it quite noticeable, but I didn't pay too much attention to it. I also enjoyed seeing my mother a bit more often and catching up just the two of us.

But when I moved back home in April, I quickly noticed that something was really wrong. There was no fighting, but I also saw no affection between my parents... And that was really very noticeable, because they had always been very affectionate together. They always had fun. My mother works part-time, my father full-time. Especially my father has a very busy job where he always had to travel a lot, even abroad. That has of course fallen away now, but he is still away for work quite a few days a month. Then to a hotel in the Netherlands, to meet with colleagues.

That this now always happens via Zoom, I hadn't really thought about. But a month and a half ago, my father was on a work trip and he forgot his personal laptop. My laptop had just broken down and since I didn't have money for a new one — and currently didn't have a study for which I would need one — I took his laptop to watch Netflix.

When I opened it, his mailbox was still open. I know my father's email address, but this was an inbox from an address I didn't know at all. I don't know why I didn't click away immediately, but my attention was drawn because all the received emails were from the same person. A woman's name I had never heard of. The subjects were all love declarations and dirty words or texts.

That these emails were meant for my father didn't even immediately register with me. I never once thought my father would cheat. But when I opened the first email, it became very clear to me very quickly. It was addressed to my father, discussing when they would see each other again. No work appointments, all hotel outings were with her. In fact, I could see that it had been going on for at least six months. Probably even longer, but I didn't want to read further.

This was a month and a half ago and I really don't know what to do. Should I tell my mother? Maybe she already knows. She at least knows that something is going on, because this does explain the change in her behavior. But what if she doesn't know... And I don't dare confront my father. What if he chooses that other woman and leaves us? I wish I had never known this, because I really don't know what to do with this knowledge now.’

In this unusual time, we asked people for their honest story. To avoid hurting others, Maya's name has been changed.