Real life: “I pretend to go to the office to see her”

Iris (32) lies about her working days at the office. Due to the coronavirus, she actually works from home until September, but her boyfriend doesn't know that.

“My relationship is nice and good. Sjoerd and I have been together since our studies. We met at the student association and it should have just been long and happy. His friends matched my friends, my job matched his, and our wish list of what we wanted in life was almost identical. Career, travel a lot, have kids later. But everything changed when Saar walked into our office.

Saar is the type of woman who is never completely girl-like. Always in sneakers, a little bit of mascara, her dark curls tied up in a bun on her head, and a mischievous grin. That and indescribably beautiful. The testosterone was flowing through the building when she introduced herself, and all the men made fluttering movements behind her back to make it clear how hot she was. Saar saw it, raised her eyebrows at me, and paid no further attention to it. But my heart was almost bursting out of my chest from the way she looked.

I sometimes saw her at lunch or when we happened to get coffee at the corner, and occasionally during the drinks on Friday afternoons. And every time, Saar looked at me just a little longer than necessary or casually touched me. This woman did something to me; I felt warm when she stood close to me and blushed when she said something to me. I didn't know what was happening to me because apart from a bit of experimental kissing during my studies, I had never felt this way about a woman. I even thought for a moment that I was imagining it with her glances until she texted me: ‘Beautiful woman, when are you going to have a drink with me?’

Of course, I knew I had to run away from her, but Sjoerd was no longer fireworks, and I wanted to know what it was, or if it was something. I didn't lie a word to Sjoerd, said I was going for a drink with Saar from my work on Friday and that I would be home late. Something I did more often with a colleague. I brought good white wine, she brought way too many snacks, and we climbed together onto her rooftop terrace. We laughed, we talked, we danced, we kissed... My life with Sjoerd seemed so far away for a moment.

It happened more and more often until I was at her place at least once a week. At the office, I kept my distance from Saar because I didn't trust myself. She would tease me sometimes by suddenly standing behind me in the bathroom and kissing me on the neck. Sjoerd thought we were becoming better friends, which was only half the truth.

And then corona came. Suddenly I was at home, and my weekly evening with Saar was gone. No quick kiss, no cooking and dancing together in the kitchen, none of that different but so delicious sex. I became grumpy, was unkind to Sjoerd who circled around me all day and paced around our house for days. I longed for her. Meanwhile, I sent messages to Saar, video-called under the guise of a work meeting with the door closed, and couldn't wait for the message that I could go back to the office for a bit. But that went a bit differently.

The management decided to keep the doors closed until the end of September. As a precaution and because working from home was going better than expected. To be in the office, you need permission from your manager, and of course, I didn't have that. More than four months without Saar was not possible for me, so I didn't tell Sjoerd about the decision. I pretended we were on shifts and that I was expected two days a week. He found it a bit strange that my otherwise so neat and responsible company made this decision, but he also understood it. Maybe he was even relieved that I was out of the house for a while, with my monstrous moods.

On Tuesdays and Fridays, I drive to Saar in the morning. We work together at her home, have lunch in bed, and on Fridays I stay late, under the guise of drinks with colleagues at a distance of one and a half meters. Which of course isn't happening. And every week it becomes a little harder to leave her in the evening.’

In this unusual time, we asked people for their honest story. To avoid hurting others, the names of Iris, Sjoerd, and Saar have been changed.