Real Life: ‘No one knows that I have an eating problem’

Lieke (26) has a nice relationship with Tom (26), but she doesn't dare to tell him about her unhealthy relationship with food. 

‘You normally won't notice much about me. My boyfriend thinks I can eat anything, but little does he know. When he's around, I let myself go. I act tough by eating desserts and burgers and present myself as that fun girl who doesn't complain about yet another diet. But when he's gone (we don't live together), I take my chance. Then I might eat six apples in a day. And nothing else. Or if I've really gone overboard, just two cucumbers.

When we're on vacation together, it's harder. For example, I buy a bottle of vinegar at the supermarket and occasionally take a tablespoon of it secretly to shrink my stomach. And when we're sitting together with a big piece of steak, I secretly put bites in my napkin. I then stash it in my bag so I can throw it away later. By the way, that's a hassle again, because most hotel rooms have those open trash bins, so it stands out. And if my bag is under the table with a filled napkin in it, I'm very attractive to street cats and stray dogs.

My boyfriend thinks I'm the type who can eat anything, but nothing could be further from the truth. What I really shamefully do is that sometimes, when I have a binge, I buy all sorts of tasty things and then spit them out bite by bite into a big mug. The taste, not the calories. Recently, I was just eating and spitting out three Mars bars when my boyfriend unexpectedly walked in. I was so embarrassed. My whole mouth full of chocolate, such a mug with spit-out mess that I had to hide, terrible.

I just want this to stop happening. It has to end. But I just don't know how right now.’

In this unusual time, we asked people for their honest story.