Real life: ‘My friend's father is flirting with me’

Mona (24) has a nice relationship with Guus (22), only her father-in-law Menno's attitude doesn't sit well with her.

‘I've been dating Guus for six months. Tall, blonde, tough when he needs to be and sweet when I wish it. I met him during a vacation in Bonaire. I was with a friend who knew the guy he was on vacation with, and so we spent the whole vacation together. After that trip, I felt like I knew him very well. We had already experienced so much in a short time.

When we arrived at Schiphol (we happened to have the same flight), he was picked up by his parents, so I met my in-laws before they knew how things were. Nice people, so Guus scored ten points again. His mother must be around 55, wearing Golden Goose sneakers, nice dark denim with a little shirt and a jacket over it. His father wore a suit, but with sneakers underneath, a two-day stubble, and wild curls that formed a funny contrast with that suit. When I shook his hand, I saw that he was really taking me in. ‘And you are?’ I must have turned a bit red and I think I said: ‘Guus will tell you,’ while of course I could have just said my name. A week later, his parents hosted a gathering at their house and Guus asked me to come along. Since I felt a bit uncomfortable, knowing exactly no one except Guus and his friend, I decided to make myself very useful in the kitchen. A glass of champagne for that one, a Meursault for Anneke, and a beer for Theo. When everyone was provided with drinks, I helped with the snacks. And then Menno walked in. His father, that is. He sat down a bit in the big chair next to the fireplace in the kitchen. They have such a cozy large living kitchen with a cooking island and fireplace. Well, Guus had told him a lot, but not everything, he started. He poured a glass of wine for us, lit a ‘naughty’ cigarette, took a long drag, and looked at me. ‘Tell me…’ he said. So I asked what he wanted to know. ‘A lot,’ he continued. ‘Very much.’

It was nice and fun that someone showed so much interest (I had experienced it differently before), but it still felt a bit awkward. In the following weeks, he often came by to see Guus, even when he knew Guus was playing hockey with his friends and I was in his apartment. We drank coffee, he made jokes, asked about things I had mentioned the previous times, and sometimes looked just a bit too long at me.

Just before the corona lockdown, we went out to eat with the four of us at Toscanini, one of my favorite restaurants. We both went to the bathroom and crossed each other in the narrow hallway. He casually lifted my hair and gave me a small kiss on my neck. ’We’re glad you’re here,’ he said softly.

Now it can all be fatherly and everything, but I still feel a bit uncomfortable about it. Especially because Menno is really a very nice man. In another situation, I could have easily spent a night with him. Effortlessly. I dare not tell Guus, he is crazy about his father and wouldn’t believe me.

Due to corona, I had a bit of a breather because we didn’t see each other for safety reasons, but now that the lockdown is slowly being eased, we will soon meet physically again. And I’m actually a bit apprehensive about that because Guus is the man of my life, but whether I can keep his father at bay…‘

In this unusual time, we asked people for their honest story. To avoid hurting others, the names of Menno, Guus, Anneke, and Theo have been changed.