Real life: ‘Because of my wealthy parents, I hardly have any real friends’

Ann (25) grew up in a place near The Hague. She moved to the city to study and still lives there with roommates. She wanted new people around her, as she had sometimes felt the need for that after the troubles in her youth.

‘The town I come from and grew up in feels more like a village. That can be very cozy and really a close-knit community, but there is so much gossip. And not even from the young people, but — especially — from the parents. My father, mother, and I lived in a big house, which of course stood out in the neighborhood. My father worked very hard his whole life and made good investments. I didn't know the nice part of that, still don't by the way, but there was always enough money at home. Which was evident, because my parents love luxury.

That caused quite a bit of envy in the neighborhood. My father had already warned me about that and said that I better not say anything about it. When I went to high school, it got much worse. Apparently, people find it very interesting if your father has such a bank account, because I was asked about it almost daily. What exactly my father did. As if he was some kind of criminal... My father just earned his money in an honest way and worked very hard for it. Anyway, I found it very strange and rude that people just asked about my father's money.

It got even worse when my parents divorced. I was 16 at the time and an only child and really didn't see it coming. The wildest stories circulated in the neighborhood and at school: my father supposedly had another woman, my mother was supposedly draining him financially, and it was even said that I would have multiple half-brothers and half-sisters from my father's affairs. All completely untrue and super hurtful for the three of us.

Eventually, my mother moved to North Holland. She was completely done with the gossip and the sideways glances she received, while she hadn't done anything wrong herself. I stayed with my father, and despite the fact that it was a very sad situation, they never really had huge fights. Just a lot of sadness. The cookie between them was simply crumbled, and this was the best for my father and mother. They still have a good friendship, which makes me very happy.

In hindsight, I might have been better off going with my mother. Also getting a new start. Instead, I went to study in The Hague, which is nearby. I quickly found out that the gossip continued there as well. In my high school, I didn't really have friends. They were mostly people who wanted to hang out with me to see our house and the cars. So superficial. Or people who did want to hang out with me, but only if I paid. Because ‘I had money anyway.’ While I always just received pocket money and had part-time jobs to earn extra. I really didn't have to hold out my hand for money. Fortunately, I wasn't raised that way.

Now I'm almost done with my studies, and here and there I've made a friend or girlfriend, but I notice that I keep them at a distance. I've actually only had bad experiences with letting people in. I then found out that it wasn't about me, but about my family and the money. They weren't interested in me. I hope that eventually, I meet people who can see through that or who simply aren't interested. For now, I wisely keep my mouth shut and say nothing more about my parents and especially not about my father. One Google Search further and they already know enough.’

In this unusual time, we asked people for their honest story. To avoid hurting others, Ann's name has been changed.