The worst Dutch movies you still want to see
Do you remember that time? That time before Penoza, Undercover, and Mocro Maffia? The time when Dutch movies were only bad and actually never good? The time of adapted Carry Slee books, of which I am firmly convinced that the creators have never seen or spoken to a teenager in their lives. The times of Volle Maan, or Michiel Huisman, Chantal Janzen, Cas Jansen, and Daan Schuurmans with the absolute worst accent that exists. I think it’s… meant to be Twents? What that accent adds to the story is still a mystery to me, because they could have just left it out.
But it was also the time of Costa!, in which Daan Schuurman was the hot bouncer and in which the iconic scene was where he kicked the door of the nightclub open with a flying kick instead of — I don’t know — just pulling the handle down? Ah, Costa!… With Georgina Verbaan hopelessly screaming on the beach if there’s anyone who wants to swim with her. The movie that takes place in Salou but has nothing of Salou in it.
The time before that was also amazing by the way. That was the time of Loverboy, which I think I’ve watched at least thirty times without joking. That movie is really enjoyable and I think everyone should be obliged to watch it.
But recently I made a mistake. Because there are limits. Unbeknownst to me, I put on Verliefd op Cuba and got completely ready to have another deliciously bad movie in front of me. But no, this one was so much worse. This movie is seriously unbearable. It’s really terrible. Then I thought: no one should ever experience this. So here’s a warning. DO NOT watch this movie. Instead, watch these 12 movies that are wonderfully bad in a good way.
- Loverboy
- Costa!
- Full Moon
- Snowfever
- Verliefd op Ibiza
- The Tuscan Wedding
- Hands off!
- Heavily in Love
- Everything in Order
- Men's Hearts
- Pista!
- Party!
P.S.: What was up with that trend where all movies got an exclamation mark?
Image: film festival
