35 years old and (still) no children

In my favorite hotel, a delicious chocolate cake came out of the kitchen with a candle on it. So it was official: I am halfway through my 30s, I (still) have no children, and strangely enough, more and more people have something to say about that.

You would think that the question of whether you want children is starting to cool down, but no. This also has to do with the two months I spent in Greece, where they still see procreation as a higher goal. There was even a random neighbor who shouted that I should give up my career to have and bear children. And whether I could also come and show that little one next year, something my boyfriend got even angrier about than I did.

The question does shift around the age of 35, by the way. I now hear ‘do you have children’ more often than ‘do you want children’? In response to my ‘no’, there is always a little bit of awkwardness. You can see 1001 questions flashing across a face. Not that I do anything about the discomfort, by the way, because if you ask the question, you should also feel some discomfort.

I also never feel the need to explain myself, because why should I? Maybe I don't want them, maybe I can't have them, maybe it doesn't feel right to bring more children into the world. It could all be true, but I don't have to explain it in any case. And no one needs to have an opinion about it.

What might be even more awkward is people telling me that I don't want children. Because what do you know about all the considerations and reflections that are going on inside me? Maybe I woke up this morning and suddenly thought: yes, we will do it.

Let's stop pretending that having children is a higher life goal. And let's especially stop judging whether someone wants to have children or not.