Afraid of that stick in your nose? This is the best tactic for a corona test

In the meantime, I have met the Cotton Swab of Terror six times. The first time completely as Kiki Panic (help, does this hurt, ma'am? Does it really have to go in my nose? Not too deep, okay!) and by now I am actually pretty chill about it. Everything gets easier, even unpleasant situations. And it's not that unpleasant at all, because it only lasts a fraction of a second and it doesn't hurt ‘really’. Besides: every time the stick has come my way, it was for a reason and afterwards (usually) something nice happened.

But let's be honest: in the end, no one really wants to jump around that long thin stick, right? So it would be really nice if there was a ‘simple trick’ you could apply to minimize the discomfort of that corona test. But is there? Yes. Keep your eyes wide open. It's that simple. A lady at the testing site recently gave me the tip to look as SURPRISED as possible. With that look of surprise, your nose will be as ‘open’ as possible.

Conversely, it also works that if you are anxious about potential pain, you will squint your eyes, which causes you to tense up your nose from the inside, making you feel that stick much more. Ahaaa. Well, you know what to do then. The next time you tilt your head back: look surprised as fuck. Focus on a point in the distance and breathe as calmly as possible through your nose until the cotton swab is completely out. Oh, and during the throat swab: take a deep breath before the cotton swab goes into your mouth and say ‘AAAA’ for as long as it takes until the cotton swab is out of your throat. I'm not saying you won't feel anything (sitting on a terrace is more fun), but it definitely helps a bit. Good luck!