I watched Are You The One? The Perfect Match and this is what I thought
This week I was thinking: is it still a guilty pleasure if you literally watch nothing else? Because I fear that I have almost reached that stage. Am I watching all the latest gossip from the participants on the juice channels, have I set my alarm for Sunday evening at 6:50 PM so I have time to settle in, and is it one of the rare moments that my phone is not glued to my hand? Hm, maybe I'll watch an Oscar-worthy movie tomorrow for a change. Before that, of course, it's time for Are You The One? The Perfect Match again, because the last episode was intense and I need to talk to you about it.
1. I have resolved to speak as practically as possible about my future relationships. ‘Can I tick everything off with him? Literally everything? Is this my perfect match?’
2. And that I let that person know what the outcome is by turning the light off or on. Sounds delightful to me.
3. Maybe I'll hire Kaj Gorgels too and we'll go to the troet boet for that.
4. Okay, I'm getting sidetracked. I realize that I made a mistake: I thought the match was actually just leaving. As in: going home.
5. That was my conclusion because they were cheering and happily packing and such, but they are just spending a night away together. What a fuss for nothing.
6. I find Rabia so impressive that I can hardly make eye contact, even though I'm safely watching TV.
7. Of all the episodes I've watched so far, I've really heard Jaap say very little meaningful things. That might sound harsh, but show me some proof that it's not the case.
8. And of all the episodes I've seen, there hasn't been a single conversation that Ivo had that wasn't about Shanice. And it always ends up irritated and/or angry.
9. ‘Floor really has everything I need in my life.’ DUDE. You're talking about the woman you just completely chased away by putting her down? This is really just teasing girls and asking for kisses to the max.
10. And Floor... She takes it? Well, come on now.
11. #durftevragen: what does JB stand for? Jan-Bert? Jaap-Bram? I can only think of typical Dutch combinations.
12. Miiii gado, those glasses. What a hell. The only thing worse than not being able to see clearly from the drinks is being sober while supposedly not seeing clearly from the drinks. In the first scenario, you don't even notice it anymore.
13. JB is going to come home from a cold fair if he sees a private date as just a chance to have sex.
14. Having sex and riding a horse at the same time is really very difficult, for example. And on a plane, well... It can. And that private island, well... That can too. Okay, fuck it: that private date is indeed just going to be about sex.
15. Heeee, the troet boet is coming again. Already my favorite moment of the whole episode.
16. HAHA. ‘It's not, uh... Not a buffet!’ I'm definitely going to steal this quote and use it at random times with people, regardless of whether the situation calls for it.
17. ‘Ohhh, don't do that, my dad is watching.’ I guess your dad really knows that this is not The Smartest Person where you signed up for.
18. Of all the dating or love shows, they have the most arguments with each other here. Unbelievable.
19. To be honest: it's also a bit silly to call someone a slut. Even Jaap ultimately thinks that's not very nice of himself. But see? He really says very little meaningful things.
20. That Ivo. That man. I want to talk about him for a moment. How often does he switch targets during this show? And then so intensely. ‘As if she walked out of a fairy tale.’ Yeah, and in five minutes you're going to be causing trouble with your fairy tale character again.
21. You're thinking about kids? You've got everything sorted? What's going on here?
22. Yesss, time for my favorite moment. The troet boet!
23. Ivo has ‘kind of a subscription to the troet boet’, but no stress: at home he has everything sorted. Here's another shared one, because I can't choose, but he's already thinking about kids. Perrrrrfect.
24. Ah, I find Maxim cute. So nervous for the troet boet. In fact, this is the most nervous he has ever been in his life. His words.
25. Would the makers of MTV also get anxious as they get more matches? Like: ‘Holy shit, they're going to make it and we're 200,000 euros poorer’?
26. Andnnn MTV can breathe a sigh of relief again. No match. No deal.
27. Oh, Maxim is not handling this disappointment very well. Hopefully, that villa can take a hit, and they get their deposit back.
28. Geez. Because of this, he no longer believes in love. What a... Crazy conclusion. I mean: if you're in love, aren't you still going to pursue her after the show? I don't understand the problem.
29. Okay, who you go on a date with has absolutely nothing to do with the question of who you ultimately choose as a match that evening? So Maxim, what's your problem?
30. Wow, I really barely saw Rabia this episode. Maybe the cameramen find her just as impressive.
31. ‘I'm going to talk to Damiet for a moment and then we'll see if we can figure it out.’ Reaction: ‘Ha, good man, WELL SAID, BRO, I love it, I love it.’ Someone, remind me why I'm watching this show?
32. Hoooly shitballs, so many matches right. Whaddduuup. I really have no idea which matches they would have gotten right this time, but I'm totally in.
33. Yes, so tonight I'm ready, you know. That alarm is already set for 6:50 PM. How brilliant would it be if they actually get those ten matches. Suddenly I have confidence in it.
