I watched Jaimie Vaes: In The Vaes Lane and this is what I thought

Confession time: I didn't have a subscription to Discovery+. Now that's not a bizarre confession, because I think almost no one has that — in fact, I didn't even know it existed. Until Jaimie Vaes announced she was going to have a reality series on this streaming service. So that's my confession: I didn't have a subscription, but now I do. For Jaimie Vaes. I must say that so far I've gotten my money's worth because it's three months for 0.33 cents per month. You're robbing your own wallet if you don't do that, it seems to me.

But okay, I now have a subscription and was ready yesterday for the first episode. What about Valentine's Day? My day was all about Jaimie Vaes: In The Vaes Lane. Well, half an hour of my day, because that's how short each episode is. That's long enough to chat about it. Because yes, I had all sorts of opinions about it, of course.

1. So I actually didn't realize that the series would be about her wedding preparations. But you won't hear me complain.

2. Especially not when the bachelorette parties are being held at the same time in Las f***ing Vegas. Isn't that just not normal fun? Can the cameras come along too?

3. Okay, the whole ‘it's going to happen, if corona allows it’ speech feels a bit rehearsed.

4. Why are people being thanked for coming over from Amsterdam? Where was this filmed? I already noticed they were sitting in an open restaurant (slight jealousy), but is it really the case that people fly to Dubai to discuss this? Jaimie, can I join your friend group?

5. ‘What is e… Que pasa? Que pasa?’ It's going international there, at the Kleine household.

6. And you would think that Jaimie is bathing in luxury, but she also has relatable problems. A complete mess of clothes in the house, for example.

7. Well, that clothing is at least in her own walk-in closet.

8. Okay, okay, and she doesn't even have to clean up that clothing herself: Krystel does that.

9. Krystel is actually the organizer of the house, and she tidies up (the job title says it all) everything in the house. And you might think: is she some kind of cleaner? No, they probably have one of those too, but Krystel is purely for tidying up.

10. It doesn't stop there, they also have someone special who decorates their patio, and Mark the cabinet maker who builds all their cabinets. You won't find any Ikea packages there, I guess.

11. Aah, the BFF Koen Kardashian also drops by. No hate, but what I've been wondering for a while: has he actually become ‘famous’ for something? Suddenly he was there and people knew him, but I have no idea what he does.

12. Koen: ‘Is Jaimie and my life glamorous? No, absolutely not.’

13. *Pops the champagne open*

14. *Krystel displaying all the Louis Vuitton bags in the background*

15. *Camera pans over the Louboutins*

16. Glamour? Her? Noooo way.

17. Rehearsed 2.0: ‘Yes, last time I took a lot of clothes from you to that clothing bank, for charity.’ It's of course really sweet and good that she does that, but you know this had to be dropped for the camera.

18. According to Jaimie, she never hears that Lío looks like her. Huh? I only see her in him. By the way, he's super cute.

19. Seriously: do their evenings always go like this? Hiring a chef, expensive gifts — just because they can, trying on wedding dresses that Giorgio Armani personally gave?

20. My. Life. Is. SO. Boring.

21. Oooh, but some things are just relatable: baby Lío also just poops everywhere. Well, at the babysitter then. Jaimie is at home with the private chef drinking wine. HAHA. Love it.

22. Next week: Jaimie is just like us part 2: she's looking for an au pair.

23. But seriously, I think she's incredibly fun. I also want to be invited for a dinner at Estelle's and make jokes about Ruud Gullit's three failed marriages.

24. What did I just watch? Walk-in closets, champagne, wedding dresses, and private chefs at home?

25. Yes, that was indeed it. But will I watch again next week? Oh, FOR SURE.

Image: Instagram @jaimievaes