KIKI’S TEMPTATION ISLAND RAMBLINGS: EPISODE 7
So I, last night, to the champagne bottle: ‘You’re not gonna tempt meeeee…’ A couple of hours later, the hangover to me: ‘You’ll never forgeeeet me.’ Puuutverredeurie people. If only I could forget it. Toasted a bit too enthusiastically to all the newness of 2021 and now there’s been a strange man in the corner of the room all morning that I can’t get rid of, just like the spaghetti legs. Anyway, a guy in the evening, a guy in the morning. It’s long overdue, right Sonny? Let’s hit it.
1. Isn’t it funny that the new couple hasn’t even been in the house for one second and the fresh meat is already being pounced on by the horny hyenas.
2. Sonny: ‘She absolutely has to go through her own process…’
Us on the couch: ‘HEY, HE’S LEARNING!’
Sonny one second later: ‘…but I also believe it’s my role to help with that.’
Us on the couch: ‘Sigh…’
3. Oh hello there Mr. personal trainer who suddenly gives a lap dance. Important question: who is this? Did this dude suddenly crawl out of the bushes?
4. ‘She’s blossomy and smiling and gloomydoomy.’
Dear Denise, please stop talking Englishie bischie booboo doodoo.
5. Jaydi to Monica: ‘I want to discuss something one-on-one…’
Kaj to Sonny: ‘Can I take you with me for a moment?’
OMG TOTALLY GETTING EXCITED.
6. Okay, no matter how narcissistic he has acted, I suddenly feel sorry for Sonny. Wow. This is a lot to take in, man. I can just feel his pain.
7. But then he said all these things and it wasn’t so bad again:
– ‘I want her to look at me. I want to give her feedback. I can’t give feedback.’
(…)
‘Jaydi ended our relationship in a video message.’
(…) HA
‘What I find disrespectful… Three years in one week? Faka bro? Life is life.’
(…) HAHA
– ‘Dear people, may I appropriate this space for myself alone?
(…) HAHAHA
‘I think all women in the Netherlands need to watch out now.’
HAHAHAHA. I tried but I can’t anymore.
8. Tweet of the week? ‘Aaah. Sonny singing along with that bad Abel cover. I SCREAM. This toxic straight boy energy is so delusional.’
9. Wow, but wait… What is Karina suddenly saying? I have seen ‘the light’? I ‘smash well’ with Darryl? It’s funny to see at what point the vagina takes over from the mind and we are front row. Karien, maybe put on a bit more lip gloss on him! Hahaha.
10. Next time on Temptation? Fucking. Everything. Is. Misssss.
– Gregory goes all-in on Liyah
– Jaydi goes wild with Ricky
– Sonny has a mental breakdown
– Karina needs to buy new lip gloss because her lips are about to get glossed again
– Marco gets homesick for Mallorca again
P.S.: Want to chat online? Become friends on Insta here @kikiduren.
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P.P.S.: ‘I have always been the training wheels for Jaydi. And now she wants to ride by herself.’ Fuck the bike, heart at the bottom if you give her a wakeboard. WOOHOOO!
Image: RTL
