Science says: men experience more heartbreak than women

How do men deal with heartbreak? I think many women wonder about this. I have the impression that men often cope with break-ups more easily than women. In movies, men usually dive straight into the pub or throw themselves into work. But is this also the case in reality? A new study on online help for relationship problems shows that men often experience emotional pain in relationship issues more than women. How is that?

Initially, this large online big data study was intended to map the most common relationship problems. A conscious choice was made not to use data from clinical settings, such as therapy sessions. Most studies do look at that, but I actually find this quite outdated: it is a limited group of people who have the time, money, and motivation to go into therapy. This does not apply to everyone.

For this research, an anonymous online forum was used: a subreddit dedicated to relationship problems. Researcher Charlotte Entwistle (University of Lancaster) says: “This subreddit has millions of members. We analyzed data from 184,000 people.” They looked at age and gender, but also at which words and themes were mentioned. In this way, they quickly discovered the most common problems. For one in five people, it was about communication, and for one in eight, it was about trust issues. Not the most surprising outcome, if you ask me.

The most discussed theme was heartbreak and the emotional pain that comes with it. Contrary to previous findings, something did stand out here: the difference between men and women. It was not the women, but rather the men who mentioned this emotional pain more. Moreover, the number of men seeking help through this forum was much larger than the number of women. I found this quite an interesting outcome because in older studies (based on data from more traditional ways of seeking help), it was often the women who were emotionally involved. This data contradicts that. A new insight. Can the cliché of women on the couch with a tub of Ben & Jerry's finally be debunked?

Of course, this research is not entirely watertight. According to the researchers, it at least suggests that men are not less emotionally affected by a break-up than women. They also noted that there were more men on this forum than women, and with that, they hope to show that as a man, you are really not alone in seeking help.