People say: this is why I ended my long-term relationship
Break-ups are actually always just terrible. I find heartbreak one of the worst things there is, especially because there isn't a medicine or painkiller for it (wouldn't that be nice). No, the only thing that helps is time. And that's what I always find so frustrating, because you never know how much time it will take in advance.
But often there is already a lot of pain before that break-up. You don't just decide — if all goes well — to end your relationship overnight. Especially not if it's a long-term relationship, with or without kids involved.
Although in many cases it is ultimately the best and you are both better off. Alone or in another relationship. But what is the last straw that makes you think: this can't go on? That was the question in the following Reddit topic: ‘People whose long term relationship faded, what was the final straw that made you realise it was time to call it a day?’ As you might expect, the answers are very varied.
1. ‘I reached a point where every day, when I was alone, I was practicing saying ‘I want to break up’ and I just couldn't bring myself to actually say it when he came home. At a certain point, I realized that this is really not normal and also for his own good, I could better end it before it went too far. That was after a four-year relationship in the end.’
2. ‘That was somewhere between giving up and not wanting to have small talk anymore and not looking forward to the weekend. I just left our house two weeks ago, and I've had a lot of time to reflect…’
3. ‘I'm a birdwatcher (sad, I know) and we were away together and I wanted to do a birdwatching tour (which lasted about two hours) and he kept postponing it until I eventually just went alone. It was by far the highlight of our getaway. It was something I thought: that was so unkind of him but not entirely incomprehensible. I realized that being alone would be better and happier. And it is!’
4. ‘I spent about an hour every day after work still in the car playing on my phone because I really needed to recharge before I could go inside and deal with him.’
5. ‘He was a workaholic, so much so that I only ended up seeing him six days a month.’
6. ‘After two years, she went on a trip alone, and when I picked her up from the airport, she said how much she missed me and I realized that I didn't feel that way at all.’
7. ‘When I realized that I was needed, and not wanted. I was constantly trying to cheer someone up who didn't want to be happy at all.’
8. ‘Honestly, it was this pandemic. It forced us to actually spend time together and I realized that we actually had nothing in common. I had thought all those years that it was good that we both had our own friends and space, but when that all fell away, it became very clear to me that we were mainly housemates instead of a couple.’
9. ‘I was watching The Big Bang Theory and realized that despite the fact that they constantly make jokes, Amy can't get any affection from Sheldon, even she gets more love than I did from my then-husband.’
10. ‘My partner was away for work for four weeks. When he came back, I wanted to give him a kiss and he turned his head away. He made it very easy for me.’
11. ‘My colleague was talking about how much fun he was having with his partner and I realized that I hadn't felt that way in years. I went home after work and ended it right away. We both agreed that it was the best decision for both of us.’
wieke
