People say: this was the most awkward date ever

As every Friday, I read a lot on the Reddit site. There I came across the latest sneak peeks of The Bold Type, which was a very welcome surprise, but mainly I was lurking again at AskReddit. Observant readers had noticed that this is also a big hobby of mine at BuzzFeed, which I believe now really gets eighty percent of their content from Reddit. Well, if it’s stupid and it works, it’s not stupid.

And I get it, because I stumbled upon one of those little topics where I thought: that’s fun. The question is as follows: ‘What’s the most embarrassing date you’ve been on?’ Well, that can only be a treat, right? A selection of the funniest responses.

‘A friend of mine recommended the movie Requiem for a Dream. Coincidentally, a guy wanted to come to my house to watch a movie and I suggested this film. We both had no idea what the movie was about. We were both completely in shock.’

‘When I was a teenager, there was a girl I really liked. We started hanging out more and at one point she asked if I wanted to have coffee. I obviously said yes, completely happy that she had asked me out. But when we were on the ‘date’, she started saying that people always thought she was a lesbian and would never go out with a girl in her life. That threw me off a bit because I, a girl, thought I was on a date with her. When I told her that, she was mortified and we were sitting together in a Starbucks on a sort-of-date where only one of the two wanted to be.’

‘On the first date with what is now my wife, I got food poisoning and the worst diarrhea ever on the side of the road. I had to clean myself up with an old shirt that was in the trunk of my car.’

‘This guy spent most of the evening talking about his friend Pedro and how he couldn’t wait to introduce us to each other. It turned out that this Pedro was his genitals and he was pretty pissed that I didn’t want to see him.’

‘He took off his shirt in the restaurant until the waitress asked him to put it back on and then sang along loudly in the parking lot with his own rap music.’

‘Well, when I was using a lot of drugs, I once took a girl to buy cigarettes somewhere at a discount. As a date. She didn’t smoke. I can’t imagine what she must have thought at that time.’

‘It was a short meet and greet-like coffee date with someone I had met online. We went for a little walk and a bird pooped on my head.’

‘We went to a Burger King, she asked if I wanted to deflower her in the bathroom and I said no. After that, we silently ate our chicken burger.’

‘Second date, first time in his apartment. The toilet wouldn’t flush. Normally, I wouldn’t do a big job in someone else’s house, but I was a bit drunk. I just rolled up the poop in toilet paper and put it in my bag. Eventually, I stayed over and the next morning the whole apartment stank. He never found out; he blamed his roommate for the smell.’