With this position, you burn half of your Christmas dinner

At some point during Christmas, there comes a time when you no longer know when you started eating and when you will stop. The top button of your pants is already open, and you're burping up the last Christmas cookie a bit, that kind of thing. While you slowly melt away by the fireplace, there’s always someone who suggests going for a walk. Good idea, because movement helps with digestion. But I would like to discuss whether it should be a walk. There is actually a position where you can easily burn half of your Christmas dinner. And honestly, isn't that also movement?

A little sex, if you ask us, is hugely undervalued as exercise. It seems that with the cowgirl a.k.a. you on top, you can quickly burn 400 calories. That’s more than half an hour of running. You can't convince me that running is really that fun. Besides the cowgirl, the standing position is also very effective, burning as much as 250 calories. It's simple: the more effort you put in, the more effective the workout. Let's just call it a workout.

Look, that half Christmas dinner is of course a bit of pluses and minuses. With the cowgirl position, you can quickly burn 400 (!) calories. But if you go a bit overboard with a gigantic menu filled with bubbles, pavlova, and gratin dishes (I hope so for you), then it could easily be a quarter of your Christmas dinner. The point is that it’s not really about counting calories, because that’s an unhealthy torture you should never start. This is purely a clever way to get your exercise in between courses.

The only requirement is that you have a partner you can climb on top of. You could also consider solo sex, but that only yields a measly 180 calories per hour. Maybe they will miss you a bit between the Christmas dinner courses. For comparison: a brisk walk burns about 140 calories per half hour. If you’re up for such a sex dinner, uh, Christmas dinner, you can always throw it into lockdown. All that’s left for me to say is: Merry Christmas and choose wisely, my friend.