Does a better relationship lead to less sex?

Where in the first year of a relationship you still crawl on top of each other three times a day, that decreases after twelve months. Suddenly, you are also sometimes tired after a day of work or feel like watching Netflix instead of having sex. That's fine, of course, but one of the reasons that sex decreases could very well be that good relationship. This is definitely one in the category of silly.

Sex is a bonding agent between partners, as numerous studies show. Kissing each other for more than ten seconds even makes you like and find each other more attractive. It is therefore recommended to cuddle a bit, but you also have very good relationships in which sex becomes less important. This is precisely because of that good relationship, says sexologist Esther Perel. Sounds quite paradoxical. Too much emotional intimacy can cause a decline in sexual activity. Precisely because there is a lot of talking, you are mentally on the same level, and it all simply becomes a bit too familiar.

It actually makes a lot of sense. In a good relationship, you feel safe, which in turn makes everything feel very familiar. This is of course delightful when you feel like cuddling a bit while watching a movie by the fireplace, but it doesn't exactly set you on fire. Everything is a bit less exciting, and when the excitement disappears, the thrill goes out the window. Fortunately, there is something you can do about it: the unknown.

Create some tension and excitement yourself by occasionally letting go of the safe feeling, advises the expert. It doesn't always have to be safe. What works to fluff things up a bit between the sheets? Expressing your fantasies, says sexologist Esther Perel in her book Erotic Intelligence. That fantasy seems to be your personal roadmap to good sex.

Source: Psychologie Magazine

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