Real life: “I have an OnlyFans account that no one knows about”

Melissa (24) lives on her own in Utrecht. Her job in the hospitality industry came to a standstill due to corona, but she has found a way to earn some extra money. Although she doesn't dare to tell anyone about it.

“Especially my parents would be devastated with shame if they found out. I have a good relationship with them, but they don’t know me in the way I really am. They are quite proper, conservative people and I am absolutely not, although they think it’s not that bad. I am actually more curious and much more adventurous.

That’s also the reason I moved to Utrecht by myself to study. I grew up in Limburg with my parents, but I wanted a completely fresh start. And I have not regretted that for a moment. My student time was so fun and I have only been lucky with my housemates. But after years of living with at least three girls, I was ready for something for myself. In January 2020, I moved into my first own rental apartment.

Quite bad timing in hindsight, because two months later everyone had to stay home. My job also disappeared because of corona. I worked in hospitality and had a full-time contract, so luckily I was still paid for the first few months. But unfortunately, my hospitality business didn’t make it and I have been home for quite a few months now.

I do have a lot of contact with my friends here, but everything is of course different since the crisis. I suddenly find myself home alone a lot and that’s how I ended up spending more time on the internet. Suddenly my phone became my best friend. I was always active on Instagram, not that I have a ton of followers, but I enjoy posting regularly. I had heard of OnlyFans before. Just like with TikTok, I am always curious about the latest trends. TikTok was not for me, but OnlyFans caught my attention. Especially because there is a lot of money involved. I was curious: how does that work? And can you really earn a lot with it?

I have been doing this for three-quarters of a year now and I earn quite a decent amount. Not huge sums, but enough to save a little and so far I have managed to do it without affecting my benefits. Although I am curious if that will last for a long time. It’s not tens of thousands of euros, but I don’t have to worry about grocery shopping or last-minute vacations. If my laptop breaks tomorrow, I can buy a new one without any problems. And that for someone who has never had a savings account.

Yes, the photos and videos are spicy. That is something I want to be careful about: not crossing my own boundaries. Because it also has something addictive and of course it strokes my ego. That people pay to see me and find me beautiful. I haven’t gone completely naked yet. At first, I was very clear about this: I would never do that. But I notice that I am not so firm about it anymore. The competition on the platform is also getting bigger and somewhere I would also find it fun to do.

No one in my environment knows that I do this. Very often I don’t show my face in the photos and videos, but if you know me, you recognize me right away. I am starting to find that increasingly scary; I am still growing on OnlyFans, so the chance that someone I know will run into me there is also getting bigger.

On the one hand, I don’t want to be ashamed of it. It is ultimately my body and my choice. But still, I notice that I am getting more and more afraid of being found out. That is partly what holds me back from showing everything. It helps that I don’t really mingle in the circles where this is common. I prefer to keep it to myself, but I don’t know if that will work forever.”

In this unusual time, we asked people for their honest story. To avoid hurting others, the name of Melissa has been changed.