Real life: ‘I sometimes give my vegan friend meat and fish without him knowing’

Marijke's friend (37) has been eating vegan for a year now, while they used to enjoy a piece of meat or fish together. He expected Marijke to join him, but she has no plans to do so. And she actually wants him to stop.

“Honestly, I think it's such nonsense, this vegan eating. I personally like and eat everything, and I really enjoy food. But just because I eat everything doesn't mean I'm not aware of what's on my plate. Factory-farmed chickens are definitely not for me. I buy as much organic as possible and I certainly don't eat steak every day. I think I'm conscious enough about it.

Timo, my boyfriend, felt exactly the same way. Until he completely changed his mind a year ago. He was having a lot of trouble with his back and joints and started doing yoga and pilates. That turned out – fortunately – to help quite a bit, but the people he met there are not really my type, to put it mildly.

They told him there that he needed to adjust his eating habits, because it would do him a world of good. Eating meat and fish would not be good for him at all and he should better eliminate it from his diet. Timo was willing to give it a chance and I fully supported him in that. I can also find vegetarian food really delicious. And I thought it was kind of fun, because it challenged both of us to cook a bit more creatively. We certainly didn't want falafel or tofu every day. We even started to enjoy it. When we went out to eat, I just ordered what I wanted, even if it was meat or fish, and Timo was totally fine with that.

But at some point, he made the switch to wanting to avoid all animal products. Well, I absolutely cannot agree with that. I'm not going to eat vegan mayonnaise or never make an omelet again. Oat milk is fine, but I'm really not going to make an extra effort to stock up on all vegan food. And since I'm the one who cooks for us most often, I'm not going to change everything just because he has some silly idea like his veganism. I've always cooked with beef or chicken broth and never stopped, not even during our vegetarian phase. He has never noticed that. He thinks I make banana bread vegan, but I actually put a few eggs in it. And he thinks it's the best there is.

I don't really feel guilty about these things. It's actually quite bad, but I notice that I'm becoming more rebellious about it. He thought a Beyond Meat burger was just a regular burger. I think if you don't even realize those kinds of things, you're really just eating vegan for nothing. He also thinks it's all really delicious.

Of course, I know he will be furious when he finds out about these things, even though he knows I think his vegan diet is really nonsense. It's a bit of a trust issue and I'm very aware that I'm not doing well in that regard. I just think it's such nonsense and I also hope he will realize that when he finds out about this.”

In this unusual time, we asked people to share their honest story. To avoid hurting others, the names of Marijke and Timo have been changed.