Question shame: that you don't dare to ask if someone has been tested

At the greeting, I already heard something nasal from the woman. That's nothing new by the way, I have an ear for every minuscule deviation in voice. But I thought: I'm probably hearing it wrong, you don't catch a cold in public. Until I settled in for the appointment and was treated to a little sniff every ten seconds. I started shifting in my chair, while an inner struggle unfolded. Should I ask if she has been tested, or not ask if she has been tested? Should I ask if she has been tested, or not ask if she has been tested?

I make those kinds of things much more complicated than they are. Any normal person would immediately shout: you did take a PCR test this morning, right? But not me. No, I first play out every conceivable scenario in my head. Which makes it all a lot harder, I can tell you.

First of all, I don't want to ask, because what if you have someone in front of you who has a completely different way of thinking than you? Which can happen, because that's allowed in our country. Then you're not only dealing with a sniffing and snuffling conversation partner, but you also have a corona discussion on your hands. And we all know that the consumption in conversations increases as emotions rise, which you definitely don't want in a case of a cold.

Secondly, asking about a negative test feels a bit like distrust. A personal attack. You're smart enough to take a test if you're cold, right? And I'm a huge conflict-avoiding type, which is why I like to steer clear of that, especially if it can be avoided.

But in the meantime, I was still shifting in my chair with every little nose pick, no matter how soft. I didn't know it existed, but I had question shame. Just like in the first weeks of corona, there was walking shame, visiting shame, and eventually even vacation shame. It was about time we got a new form of shame, which I was definitely experiencing.

Thank goodness someone else asked if the sniffling woman had taken a test, which of course she had. My question shame and I had worried for nothing all this time.