The big cohabitation checklist: are you ready for it?

Cohabitation: I had to get used to it for a while. Still do sometimes. For me, it's a serious step that you need to think about carefully. My beloved and I found it quite difficult to adjust, and that led to quite a few arguments in the beginning. Those arguments could escalate, much to the annoyance of the neighbors. From Japanese porcelain to paintings; a lot has been broken in our house.

Cohabitation is definitely not trivial. Suddenly, for example, you have people over at times when you really don't want them there. Or you get woken up in the morning with music, while you absolutely don't want to hear any noise for the first few hours of your day. Well, you just have to take someone else into account more than you're used to. And whether you like it or not: making compromises is part of it.

But how do you know if you're ready? You certainly don't want your relationship to fall apart because you decide to live together. With the help of this checklist, you'll find out soon enough.

1. You feel no pressure from others
Do you feel like you have to live together because everyone around you is? Does it feel like it's expected of you because you've been together for years? Or worse: is your beloved pushing you? All bad reasons. Never do it if you're in doubt.

2. You're nervous
According to Tracy McMillan (author of Why You’re Not Married… Yet), nerves are a good sign. You're aware that you're about to make a big decision that will affect your life. If you don't find this exciting at all, you're not ready yet.

3. You're afraid to give up your current life
Yes, you read that right. According to Tracy, you're only ready to live together when you realize that you have a fantastic life and feel afraid to give that up. It's not the intention for you to see your beloved as someone you need to complete your life. Your beloved should add something.

4. You've survived a big argument
According to matchmaker Amy Laurent, you should have had at least one big argument before you move in together. A fight that almost leads to a breakup. You're willing to fight for love, which is a good sign.

5. You've traveled together and it went well
On vacation, you spend a lot of time together and really get to know each other. It's the ultimate test. If you get really annoyed the whole trip (aside from the usual vacation bickering), living together doesn't seem like the best option. Being together might not be either.

6. You communicate well with each other
Communication is the most important thing. You should be able to turn to your beloved with all your problems; after all, they are your confidant. When you live under one roof, this is a requirement.

7. You've moved past the first-love butterflies phase
Of course, you're still madly in love in the first few months. You only want to be with each other and are in a love bubble. But at this stage, you absolutely shouldn't be thinking about living together. If you're no longer on that pink cloud, then start considering.

8. You're not living together for practical reasons
Housing is expensive, and you can save costs by living together, but this shouldn't be the main reason. You should only move in together out of love.

9. You're aware of each other's routines
Make sure you know what your beloved's routines are in advance. If these differ greatly from yours, you can prepare for it. Maybe you're a morning person while your beloved loves to stay up late. You don't want to find this out only when living together.

10. You look forward to coming home to your beloved every day
Do I look forward to coming home to you every day? You should ask yourself this question out loud. Okay, being home alone is sometimes wonderful, but ultimately you should look forward to living together with your beloved the most.

11. You've talked about future plans
It's handy to be sure that you want to share your life with the person you're going to live with. Do you have a feeling that this isn't the love of your life? Then don't do it.

12. You've already discussed agreements
Of course, it doesn't all happen automatically. Unfortunately: making agreements is necessary, for example, about how often people come over. And who does what in the household? I know it sounds very dull, but it's necessary. I really had to learn this. No matter how constraining it feels, when you set clear expectations, you actually gain much more freedom in return.

13. You're aware that you need to put in more effort to maintain the romance
I always thought this was nonsense, but nothing could be further from the truth. Before you know it, you're walking around the house in joggers every day. You don't want to let yourself go. My tip: schedule date nights. Dress nicely and go out together.

Source: Girlscene