a letter to Sonny from Temptation Island

You know? Actually, I would just like to have a glass of wine with Sonny. Let's see how things are going. Participating in a reality show is no small feat, especially if you turn out to be the scapegoat of the show.

Dear Sonny, I know: you are not a bad person. You know that too. And that's why (I'll just dive right in) I think Temptation Island is the best thing that could have happened to you. The fall may be a bit hard, but it can only be as hard as you have risen above reality. And maybe, Sonny, that was a bit the case. Maybe, Sonny, (tell me right away if I'm completely off) this was necessary to open your eyes.

We hear you shout every week: ‘I just really want to help people!’ Giving feedback. Protecting from mistakes. Being a messiah for humanity. But do you know when people accept authority? When they feel that a person has more knowledge in a certain area than they do. We don't want to be helped by a personal trainer with obesity. Or by a psychologist with mental health issues. Or by a life coach with the perspectives of a 14-year-old.

The role of helper, guru, or inspirer is never a goal in itself; it is a stamp that you receive from others. A process that takes years. It is even a path that is not meant for everyone, and you know what? That's fine. You make foolish choices, go through deep valleys, learn (hopefully) from your mistakes, evolve as a person. And very, very maybe you then – eventually – give advice to others. Often based on your own fuck-ups. And even then you cannot protect others from making mistakes, because everyone has their own path to follow.

Dear Sonny. Doing something meaningful, for yourself or for the world, starts with self-love. Caring for yourself lovingly. From there, you can mean a lot for others. It's just like the safety instructions on the plane: first your own oxygen mask, so that you can help another afterwards. Only if you take good care of yourself and create the best conditions to thrive, can you give the best to others. That's why I tell you, Sonny: love yourself a little more. Help yourself instead of the other. That's where your growth is. You are worth it! Really.

Image: RTL