The remarkable things I do to avoid shopping on Black Friday

First of all: it’s Black Fri-day. The translation of day is dag and dag is still singular. So why does it suddenly have to be a whole wéék? By the way, do you also know that Black Friday is just the announcement of the sale? The annoying thing is that you obviously don’t want someone else to snatch your object of desire right in front of you and voilà: the neediness begins.

1. Chanting a mantra
‘It’s not cheaper, it’s not cheaper, it’s not cheaper, it’s not cheaper.’ With every insane deal, I cling to my new mantra. The annoying thing is that that one dress is indeed 45 euros cheaper than yesterday. ‘It’s not cheaper, it’s not cheaper, it’s not cheaper.’ The local shopkeepers now think I’m talking to an imaginary friend, but that’s okay.

2. Allowing yourself something
I allow myself to buy things that I nódig need, which is indeed a broad concept. I’m talking about my Olaplex shampoo that’s almost gone, walking socks (god so sexless), new tea towels from Dille & Kamille, and gifts for literally everyone except myself. All in the hope that the shopping urge is satisfied just a little bit.

3. Subscription to the Consumers' Association
Yes, call me an absolute cheapskate, but I receive updates from the Consumers' Association. They explain in detail which deals you’ll ultimately regret. Did you know that many things (and I mean really a lot of things) were cheaper two weeks ago than they are now? You’re being ripped off from all sides.

4. I screenshot like crazy
To get the desire for something out of my system. A screenshot is for me the start of wanting to buy something. I hope I mislead my brain with it, so it thinks I’m going to buy something. Yes, a clever trick. Just like filling your shopping cart and closing the page right before checking out.

5. Book a vacation
This sounds contradictory, I know, but it helps. Every time I, like a needy shopaholic, toss candles-lingerie-shoes-foundation into my cart, I think of my recently booked trip to Athens and throw everything back out. I need to save, to spend my money there in January. Are you completely out of your mind with your Black Friday.

6. Advocate of minimalism
Suddenly I realize that I should get rid of ten items every day like a true Marie Kondo. Letting go of something that no longer serves me. Well, I still have about fifty moving boxes of that in the storage. You know what? I’ll just hold my own Black Friday sale, where I can earn from.

7. Delete unopened
Every newsletter I receive in my inbox, I delete as quickly as I can. I would prefer to close my eyes while doing this, so the discount doesn’t burn into my retina. At the risk of deleting an important email into oblivion. I tell you: newsletters are the evil of this black week.

And whatever you do, don’t read the next message from our Lilian who has sniffed out the best deals of this Black Friday for you. Because your spine will become as limp as a spaghetti strand when you see what’s up for grabs.