What if I suddenly become antisocial later?

Sometimes I smell that crowded bar, where you stand packed together and just spill a little beer over yourself. I can miss it that much. But at the same time, I am startled by photos from the past, where I am hugging people I just met. I think I am no longer so skilled at fleeting contact. How will that be later, when I can go outside again?

This weekend I read a piece in the Volkskrant, the writer of the article wondered if we can still display normal social behavior. She described a pre-corona setting, where she suddenly found herself among all strange people and couldn't say anything anymore. I recognize this.

Before corona, I was reasonably skilled at small talk. Just chatting nonsense with a complete stranger and ending up in a pleasant conversation. I found myself in exactly such a situation last week and I couldn't do it. Halfway through the not-so-interesting conversation, I drifted off. It was almost impossible to pretend I was listening. Where I normally can chat for a while about not-so-deep soul matters, I now find it pointless to talk about anything other than the issue in Palestine or self-development. It even got to the point where I dreamed at night about the not-so-interesting conversation. Apparently, it stuck with me, I was that shocked.

What also happens to me: I am really exhausted after an evening of catching up. It keeps buzzing and humming in my head for hours and then I need at least one contactless part of the day to recover. I seem to be early elderly, which worries me. We might not dare to do anything anymore, if I have to believe the piece in the Volkskrant this weekend. That has everything to do with social deprivation, which simply means the denial of social contacts and interactions. In the past, isolation could be deadly, and so we still try to prevent that as much as possible. The funny and clever thing about our brain is that we adapt, which makes it logical that I need to get used to small talk again.

The beautiful thing about our nature is that it also works vice versa. If the interaction increases later, then my socially defective brain has to function again. Although it seems tempting to skip the conversations that don't matter. You save so much more time for things that are actually fun.