Wiekes weetjes: 10 opmerkelijke dingen over het seksleven van dieren

Tomorrow is — yes — Animal Day. Not necessarily a holiday that I celebrate extensively (for my cat, every day is Animal Day, the little princess), but it is a nice moment to pause and reflect on the animal kingdom. And particularly on the sex life of that animal kingdom. Yes, once again a little category of seriously-do-I-want-to-know-this, but believe me: you will be amazed at how those animals go at it. Or rather, how they do not go at it.

1. Echidnas get testicles that swell to 200 percent of their normal size
Echidnas do not have the absolute best sex life ever. In fact, we might better call it echidna points instead of panda points. Both males and females only mate during the breeding season, which runs from late June to early September. The male's testicles swell so much in preparation that they are 200 percent larger than normal. But the females are not the easiest either: they only have sex once in that breeding season, with one male. So if you, as a male echidna, do not score in that short time, you will be walking around for ten months with painfully swollen balls.

2. Female giraffes signal they are ready by urinating on their partner
Well, some people also find this delightful, but with giraffes, it is a bit more normalized. When a female giraffe is ovulating, a lot changes in their hormone levels, which is logical of course. But that change causes the taste of their urine to change, and so the male can easily find out if it is sexy time: by drinking the urine. Oookay.

3. Male alligators have a permanent erection
Just think about it: how uncomfortable would that be? Maybe that’s why they are so aggressive. I can’t imagine you feel really good about yourself if you constantly have a hard-on.

4. The broad-footed marsupial mouse has very long sex, and then dies
Look, this is dedication. This species lives in Australia and really enjoys it. They literally give everything for it, especially the males. Their sexual encounter can last up to twelve hours, after which the male is so exhausted that he collapses and dies. The females give birth to their offspring shortly after, and the cycle continues.

5. Barnacles have the largest penis in proportion to their body size
Ever heard of a barnacle? If not, you’re not missing much. In Dutch, they are called 'rankpootkeeften', but that sounds much less fun. It is an organism that can no longer move once it becomes adult. But how do you reproduce then? Well, with a penis that is seven (SEVEN) times longer than your body. A bit of blind aiming and seeing where it fits. There’s a good chance it will hit the mark in one go, as most barnacles are also hermaphrodites.

6. Chickens can be very picky
If you thought that such a chick was an easy prey for the rooster: think again. Chickens can actually expel up to 80 percent of unwanted sperm. So if they regret their one night stand: no problemo, out it goes.

7. The sex life of ducks is really very grim
Ever googled a duck's vagina? No? I can't necessarily recommend it, as it is literally a maze. Female ducks are often raped, and over the years this has caused their vagina to take on the shape of a kind of maze, making it difficult for the duck penis to enter. The males figured this out and evolved their penis into a kind of screwdriver-shaped organ. Very weird all.

8. The percentage of homosexual sheep is extremely high 
You probably already knew that homosexuality occurs not only in humans but also in animals, but did you know that the percentage in sheep is particularly high: about ten percent of the rams prefer to mate with another ram rather than a ewe.

9. Flatworms duel during sex
Flatworms are like barnacles hermaphrodites. So to determine who becomes the female, they engage in a kind of sword fight with their penis during sex. The first one to hit (i.e., penetrate) becomes the male, and the one hit becomes the female.

10. Pandas love porn
That pandas are not really sexually active animals is now common knowledge. But that is frustrating for zoos or scientists studying the existence of pandas. So what do they do? They show pandas footage of other pandas mating. And that makes those pandas seriously more motivated to get it on again. Panda porn, a concept I can honestly say I have never thought about.