6 x the most terrible ways to end your relationship

Ending a relationship is not easy and the right moment is unfortunately rarely there. When you are the one who wants to break up, you have probably been dreading it for weeks. More than logical of course, it is terrible to break someone's heart. You want to do this in the most peaceful and respectful way possible. But how do you do that? Well, in any case, NOT in the ways below. So make sure to avoid these ways of breaking up, unless you aspire to end up as the evil ex.

1. By phone

Calling, texting, messaging: all no-go’s for ending your relationship. Unfortunately, I must confess that I dumped my first boyfriend via WhatsApp. Or was it via BlackBerry Messenger? Well, in any case, it wasn't nice. I want to mention that I was seventeen (actually eighteen, but as a minor it might be forgiven earlier) and I learned my lesson. So you should absolutely not approach it this way. I think I am still hated to this day for this action. And rightly so. No matter how easy it seems to send a message, it is incredibly cowardly and disrespectful. By the way, calling is also not a better option; you just need to see each other.

2. Making it all about yourself

‘It’s not you’ is the worst thing you can say. No matter how kindly intended, the other person gains nothing from this. You don’t have to tear someone down, but it’s better to say that your dynamics aren’t working or something along those lines. Saying it’s not the other person’s fault is quite a cop-out, if you ask me. I would always wonder what it actually is about. So just don’t do it.

3. The brother-sister comparison

Even worse than ‘it’s not you’ is: ‘you feel more like a brother/sister’. So painful and unnecessary. Saying that you no longer feel the love is also very hard to say, but it seems to me to be better than hearing that you are currently considered a family member. Quite humiliating.

4. Trying to scare the other person away 

Unfortunately, I also have experience with this method. Not daring to break up and therefore trying to scare the other person away with your behavior. In this way, you ‘hope’ the other person will break up, but the result is often more arguments and more complexity. Not recommended.

5. Suggesting a break

In my feeling, a break is often the last and unsuccessful attempt to save a relationship. If you deeply feel that a pause won’t save you, then don’t suggest it. This creates hope and that is unfair. Often, it is also very vague what the ‘rules’ are during such a break. This leads to jealousy and arguments. Bad idea.

6. Ghosting

By this, I mean not hearing anything from you anymore. Although that seems like the easiest way, it is also a very cruel and harsh way. Of course, you don’t speak to each other daily when it’s over, but you don’t have to suddenly disappear from someone’s life as if the relationship never existed. Just gradually and respectfully phase it out.