Habits that unknowingly ruin your friendship

If you can make a little mistake with someone, it’s with that one friend, your bff, the partner in crime. She held your hair back when you spilled the contents of the Limoncello bottle, and you stood on the doorstep every day with soup and wine during her heartbreak. But even with that friend, there are things you’d better not do too often. These are the disastrous friendship killers.

Never ask how they are doing
It’s one of the most heard complaints from friends about friends: not asking how they are doing. A friendship still works both ways, so if you’ve poured out all your misery about your friends, it’s the other person’s turn. Never forget to ask how he/she/it is doing.

Giving unsolicited advice
Of course, you always know better for the other person, even though we ourselves are constantly making a mess of things. That doesn’t mean you should pour it out about them unsolicited (!). Sometimes that friend just wants to share something without you coming up with all sorts of solutions. It can even make that person feel like you always know better. You don’t want that.

You see everything as a competition
Does your best friend get a promotion at work? So do you. Does your bff have a new (and prettier) hairstyle? So do you. Is she going on a round trip through Asia? So are you. Be careful if this happens to you. It’s healthy to mirror yourself to your friends, but it’s detrimental to a friendship if you want everything too. Remember: you are your friends’ cheerleader and you can be proud without having to achieve it yourself.

Never argue
It’s perfectly normal not to like everything a friend does, but do speak up. Always wanting to avoid conflict is unhealthy in any relationship, including that friendship. So if you think it’s annoying that they are always late? Say it. The reverse works the same way. Sometimes you need to speak up and tell each other the truth to ensure your friendship stays strong.

You hardly talk and listen
This is the two-point-oh version of never asking how they are doing. If you always wait for your turn to tell your story instead of listening, that’s a red flag for your friends. It indicates that you have no real interest in them. What helps? Asking follow-up questions and just not immediately interrupting the opening of their story.