Bizarre hospitality experience: being insulted by waiters

Say wine, snacks or haute cuisine and the gourmands at online food magazine FavorFlav know where to drink, how to eat it and what to cook. This time our cheffies serve you: Bizarre hospitality experience: being insulted by waiters.

When you pick a restaurant, what do you pay attention to? Do you go off on online reviews, reviews from a newspaper or recommendations from friends? Does it ever happen that you get a little seduced by enthusiastic stories on social media, but during the evening you think: if only I was spending my hard-earned pennies somewhere? Read on if you want to know what happened to me recently.

On Instagram lately, I saw enthusiastic posts about a new restaurant to open in Amsterdam-North, posted by several professionals I hold in high regard on the culinary front. Added bonus: it was a ten-minute bike ride from my house and it was also easily accessible for my party, so rubbing my hands together I made a reservation. This was bound to be a top evening.

Pie chart of the evening
I can say straight away: that was partly true. It was true for that part of the evening's pie chart that included the all-around delightful waitress with the beautiful mole, as well as the spacious, industrial yet cosy interior, the white wine from Burgundy the fantastic homemade bread and also the main course of pheasant with a delectable bratwurst of the leg meat.

That sausage had a specific name that I forgot. And that I forgot it was because of my mental state at the time it was served, which also made me forget to take pictures of the menu. After all, what had just happened?

Natural wine
While perusing the wine list, we already found it troublesome that it was not clearly indicated which wines were natural wines and which were not (the website had indicated that they served ‘mainly’ natural wines - that would also mean that there would be a small portion of non-natural or ‘conventional’ wines). Not just me, even the professional wine writer in our company is not an obvious lover of natural wines. Sure, there are undoubtedly gems among them, more and more probably, but it remains a niche product.

Stable wines
Indeed, that is the whole nature of the natural wine product, to go off the beaten track of conventional winemaking. When producing natural wine, the aim is to intervene as little as possible in the natural process. This can result in quite pronounced wines that can be cloudy (because not clarified and/or filtered) and where the naturally present yeasts are quite noticeable. It happens that natural wines can have a manure smell or smell like horse sweat, which is a common description. This could be due to poor hygienic conditions during the making process. But not all natural wines are the same, and certainly not all suffer from this. Besides, some people like this.

Capital phenomenon
Why natural wine is popular in more and more Amsterdam restaurants (I made some enquiries among very established wine connoisseurs and they primarily agree that this is mainly a phenomenon in big cities)? I suspect because what makes these wines special is that they are made on a small scale and with great respect for nature. This fits into the movement of eating more consciously and wanting to know where your food comes from. Several restaurateurs I have spoken to say they find these wines go well with the dishes on their menu. That is of course their right, and filling an entire wine list with them hopefully comes from the best culinary and sustainable intentions.

Tried and true
But I myself have experienced several times when a natural wine did not suit me exceptionally well. For the record, this can of course turn out the same way with conventional wine. That I had to work so hard to appreciate the aroma and flavour that it actually distracted me from what was on my (often high-priced) plate. And believe me: when an entire wine café opened on Amsterdam's Westergas terrace in 2015 (De Wijnfabriek, now closed), I was practically banging on the door with enthusiasm: I wanted to join this trend! In the seven years that followed, I ordered several bottles of natural wines at several acclaimed restaurants and was almost always open to trying yet another. Not infrequently, because the restaurant in question suddenly only served natural wines.

The choice is not always vast
And that's where the shoe pinches for me. There are also countless organic and biodynamic conventionally produced wines that I think are easier for a portion of diners to handle. As a restaurateur, would it really break you down inside to offer some choice, just as you might offer a choice between vegetarian dishes or dishes with organic meat? Sometimes I have an evening when I need comfort, convenience and a feel-good blanket as a restaurant experience and don't want to work hard to appreciate the wine for a while. It's very important to note here that I think it's great for people who do get raving about natural wine. Go ahead! You do you!

Absurd situation
Returning to this restaurant experience in question. The bizarre thing (why bizarre, that's how I describe it) was that our lovely waitress had already told us that there were a few conventional wines on the wine list, only that the host would explain which ones. So actually we were already pleased, we just had to figure out which wines they were, because they were not specified on the menu.

Then the host came to our table and started the conversation about the wine list, to which I said in all honesty, without any chagrin, ‘I am not fond of most typical natural wines’, ready for an open conversation about what wines he might recommend to us. To which he replied: ‘Personally, I think that's a silly comment.’ Now I am going to let out a short silence because I was really sitting here flapping my ears. I had not been unkind, had not acted like an American Karen

Back to guest handling lesson 1
‘A stupid comment’?!!! You don't say that to a guest! Mind you, I wasn't asking for an omelette without eggs here, or ordering sourdough bread when I had just declared that I was allergic to gluten. It was perfectly possible to have a conversation with me about wine; I had only indicated what I had previously been turned down on. And when, as a host, you have someone opposite you who is between 15 and 20 years older and has clearly been out to dinner before, you can also assume that person has also been drinking wine for so many more years. I think I was already drinking natural wine when this young man was still on the Fristi, so after all these years of trying, I can say what my general preferences are.

Unpleasant experience
And I have certainly had my lesser days in almost twenty years as a bartender, waitress and hostess, but I have never been this bad. What followed was a firm conversation and (even later in the evening) detailed apologies from the host. A bottle of wine eventually arrived on the table, which was not my cheering preference, but I don't think anyone was in the mood for further discussions. The unpleasant experience left me distracted and I have no idea what the appetiser was. We were all quite upset by the whole incident and had to confirm to each other the next day: this really couldn't happen. For ninety euros per person, we had had a very strange evening.

Be kind and stand up for yourself
Why am I bothering you with this story? Because I really want you as a guest, even if you're in a place that you might have to get used to or that you think might be ‘the place’ but where you don't quite feel comfortable, to still stand up for yourself when things just aren't right. If your wishes are not listened to (especially if they are far from ludicrous) or if you would like to state what could make or break the evening for you. To that end, I like to close with a quote from hospitality and gastronomy great Peter Klosse, which came to me through various channels and is therefore perhaps a little bastardised but boils down to the following:

‘Taste is not necessarily personal (which is often said). On the contrary, taste can be scientifically researched and determined. But how each person experiences and perceives the taste of something, that is personal.’

PS.
I deliberately do not mention the name of the restaurant, my heart for the hospitality industry is too big for that. I don't want to taint the hard work of all the other people in the service and kitchen who were working so hard that night. Do you really want to know? Then go to the colophon of FavorFlav and email me at the email address listed there.