Science says: complaining makes you happy

I actually knew this all along. I can really be a gigantic complainer and I’m not even ashamed of it anymore. It’s sometimes so nice to just complain about something the old-fashioned way and it feels so incredibly relieving. Especially about those little things that make life annoying and that you don’t really have control over. Like red traffic lights, your wifi suddenly being painfully slow, your UberEats driver suddenly making a stop, or worse: your UberEats order that, after waiting for three quarters of an hour, is suddenly canceled by the restaurant out of nowhere. I had this two weeks ago and you understand: I really complained about this.

But no worries, I still shine like the sun at home, because complaining makes you really happy. Yes, seriously, that’s what the experts say. That says psychologist Wendy van Mieghem to the AD. And specifically the form of complaining that aims to ‘let off steam’.

Van Mieghem even wrote a book about it (‘Complaining connects people,’ and I think I need to get this at home), so she knows what she’s talking about. She says among other things: ‘It’s intimate in a certain way: you can use it to get someone on your side. When you start whining about the NS, a conversation almost always comes out of it, it’s social complaining. You make contact, which you use to release tension. Some tear up phone books, others go exercise, and the next one just whines a bit. Complaining can help you get moving, it’s purifying and there’s nothing wrong with that. If you complain well, you clean yourself from the inside out. After that, you can get back to work feeling fresh and fruity.’

But seriously, isn’t this really true? With such a setback (which is far from the end of the world), I’m completely done and cheered up after complaining. Just venting your frustration and moving on.

By the way, this does have a pretty big side note: this is purely about letting off steam. If you keep knocking on your friends‘ doors saying that ’nothing ever goes your way‘, ’that you’ll never find the one‘, or ’that everyone has a nice job except you', it’s going in the wrong direction. Not only does it make you unhappy, but it also affects your surroundings.

All just complain for two minutes about that annoying wifi? Delightful. And then move on.