The craziest things you can buy at Gorillas

A dear acquaintance of mine (I won't name names) told me that he once, in desperation with his hands in his hair and his fingers cramping, ordered a Womanizer from one of the fast delivery services. Exactly eight minutes later, there was a dingdong at the door and three minutes later, his girlfriend was satisfied and the job was done. I searched but couldn't find a Womanizer in the assortment (sold out?), but I did find all sorts of other fun things that you might suddenly need outside of regular store hours.

Now I must say that I am actually not in favor of these reckless delivery services. I find it spoiled and dangerous, but yes, in some situations (love, war, and a protruding nipple in a delicate dress) a fast guy on an electric bike is permissible.

I found the coolest things from Gorillas.

1. Litchy Fashion Tape
Ideal for when that bra just doesn't fit under that party dress. Look at Lizzy Perridon (not endowed with a huge décolletage, but after using her fashion tape blessed with a real little groove between her breasts). Also perfect for sticking that jacket you don't want to wear a bra under to your body to avoid a Janet Jackson moment.

2. Nipple Covers
Also from the store of Lizzy Perridon. Ideal for that night out when you don't want to hear comments like: ‘Are you that cold, girl?’

3. Condoms
I'll put it this way: better a condom than a morning-after pill. These are the kinds of things that have tremendous urgency and make a visit to Gorillas worthwhile.

4. Covid test
Same

5. Fireplace logs
Imagine sitting on your tiger skin with your bottle and your condoms and then not having any firewood logs...

6. Marie-Stella-Maris room spray
You won't find that at Albert Heijn.

7. Melatonin
For when you can't catch sleep after all your adventures.

Again: I'm not a fan of the principle, but sometimes speed wins over responsibility.

Image left: Gorillas