Dating Disasters: ‘This man took ‘love yourself first’ to a whole new level’

In Dating Disasters, anonymous readers share their most embarrassing, cringeworthy, and dramatic dates. This week: how much self-love is too much self-love?

If you ask the people around me what type I usually go for, they would probably say: tall, dark, the emotional availability of an onion, and a bit full of himself. So it didn't surprise me at all that I ended up on a date a while back with someone who was his own biggest fan. Literally.

Let's rewind to the year 2016. Just dumped, I was scrolling through my Instagram feed when Mats suddenly appeared. Handsome, tall, and fit. Very fit. He looked like a living Ken doll, and that was exactly what I needed. Desperately seeking some post-breakup validation, I sent him a message. My 23-year-old self had decided that attention from any handsome man could mend my broken heart, or at least ensure that my self-confidence got the boost it needed after I had apparently left it two hours away with my ex. My 29-year-old self has to cringe a bit at that now, but hey: you live and you learn.

For example, I quickly learned that there was virtually nothing going on in Mats' perfectly symmetrical head. I soon discovered that he actually found nothing interesting, except for one thing: himself. In the weeks that followed, I had to listen to how he had prepped his rice with chicken and broccoli for the rest of the week, how many pull-ups he could do now, and how his Instagram was growing into a real health platform for beginner athletes.

Still, I went on a date with him. I found everything better than wallowing in the heartbreak that I stubbornly swore I had already gotten over. The date dragged on slowly as expected. My head rested in my left hand while my right hand firmly held onto yet another glass of Pinot Grigio, which I was counting on to make his monologue more interesting. As I had predicted, the whole evening was about him, and I must say that I was surprised in hindsight that he didn't bring a PowerPoint presentation. He talked, I pretended to listen, and before he got to the part ‘are there any questions?’, the bill was paid and we were already outside. I thanked him for the evening, and as he walked away, I was sure I would never see him again.

Now, I am absolutely not a fan of ghosting, but sometimes you both just realize that it's not going to happen. That was also the case between me and Mats. I was busy figuring out how I wanted to spend my single life, and he was busy cooking rice. I had almost forgotten he existed when I received a notification on my phone: ‘One of your contacts, Mats, is using Instagram as @mats_fanaccount. Do you want to follow this person?‘ A bit confused, I clicked on the notification, and an Instagram feed popped up with photos of Mats. From the captions, it was clear that this was Mats’ biggest fan posting things like: ‘the best trainer in Amsterdam!’ and ‘look at this sweet, nice man!’. I needed a moment to process this error in my head, but soon I burst out laughing. Did he seriously create his own fan account? And did he think that notification wouldn't go to all his contacts? Literally everyone could see this. Oh, how painfully embarrassing and hysterically funny this was at the same time. He took the advice ‘love yourself first’ to a whole new level.

Out of extreme curiosity, I of course went on a little investigation, and I can confirm that this account still exists. There are now even multiple fan accounts of Mats, and I wonder if he set these up himself as well. But you know, besides the fact that this is obviously extremely funny, there is something to it. When I see him now, I feel a bit of vicarious embarrassment but also a bit of inspiration. I mean, why not? Be more like Mats and be your own biggest fan. Just maybe a little less publicly.

*The names in this article have been changed for privacy reasons

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