For when you don't understand a thing about the face masks anymore

In the first year of corona, I ran out of a store in shock on vacation because I had forgotten the face mask in all my innocence. I stammered some excuses and tried to explain that this wasn't necessary for us. The woman looked at me as if I had just walked back into the store completely naked. She understood nothing.

If you say something to someone long enough, it sticks. You start to believe it, even we stubborn subjects in the Netherlands. The same goes for the face masks. The whole world was already wearing one of those things when we still walked into a store unmasked without a care. It didn't work anyway, the Jaap van Dissels pressed upon us, so why would you? Until even the cabinet could no longer justify all those bare faces in indoor spaces, and off we went. I won't say meekly, because the supermarket was teeming with refusers. I can't help it, but I had a strong feeling that this was mainly the grumpy, white man in his mid-sixties. The paradox was, of course, that you didn't wear the thing for yourself, but for others. Although I still dare to bet that people felt a bit safer themselves.

Somewhere in the summer, the face mask could come off. I still remember the first time I walked into a supermarket without one: it felt delightful. In my mind, I compare it to the moment women decided to stop wearing corsets. You could breathe. Moreover, you immediately saw that the guy you were flirting with wasn't really your type, and the mask from the chin disappeared. With the rise of infections, the chance of the face mask returning skyrocketed again, and voilà: there it was again. Like a little devil out of a box.

In December, a message came in that Greeks had to wear double face masks in supermarkets and public transport. For a moment, it seemed like a message from our beloved Speld, but no. In Greece, the type two face mask became mandatory, just like in many other countries, but a double face mask was tolerated. We received that memo a bit later here, which means that almost two years later, we finally have to wear type II and type IIR. The difference is that this face mask protects the other even better (?) and in the latter case, yourself as well.

Meanwhile, the instructions on how, where, and with how many layers and braces you should wear the thing are endless. But one thing is clear: those filthy, unwashed, self-assembled face masks won't be allowed anymore. What a relief that must be. Until that time comes, I will still indulge in the benefits of the thing, and then we will surely have another mask-free summer. The only reason type II is probably not being implemented immediately is a possible shortage of masks. Oh well, maybe Sywert van Lienden still has a stash somewhere.