Science says: this is why your first love lingers so long

You never forget your very first love. Maybe you are still (or again) together with this person, but if that is not the case, the memories of your first lover still linger forever. And that's not so strange, after all, it was the first time in your life that you experienced these intense feelings of love and emotions.

According to relationship experts, there are several reasons why a first love is so unforgettable. Relationship therapist Rika Ponnet says the following about this: ‘In your puberty, painful unrequited loves often occur with many uncertainties as a result. That first real relationship and the intimate connection that comes with it has a huge impact on your identity: for the first time, someone recognizes you as a man or a woman. A milestone towards adulthood.’

In addition, you feel a very strong emotional bond with your first love. This is because: often you get a first love before your brain is fully developed. As a result, it is mainly raging hormones that dominate your pubescent body at that moment. The release of the hormone ‘oxytocin’ contributes to the creation of this powerful and intense connection. Oxytocin is therefore also called the ‘love hormone’ and helps people bond with each other. These feel-good hormones are triggered by things like kissing and cuddling, which you naturally do non-stop in your first relationship.

Your first love can also linger in your mind because this relationship was abruptly ended at the time. For example, due to a sudden move by your parents (and you unfortunately had to go along) or because you went to study in another city. In our young lives, a lot can happen that may have caused us to break our first relationship, while we were actually still in love. The ‘what if’ feeling can then linger for a long time.

Finally, for many people, it has to do with the longing for their youth. It is not so much about the person themselves, but about the period in which you lived when you were together with your first love. The world was still open to you, there were few worries, and you probably romanticize this time more and more as you get older. That feeling from back then, people want to experience that again. But unfortunately, we don’t call someone our ‘first love’ for nothing. So just cherish these beautiful and valuable memories.

sources: hln.be, libelle