Proven: friends are better for your health than family

No matter how miserable I can sometimes feel, my friends always know how to cheer me up. Even when I'm absolutely convinced at times that I don't want to see anyone and drown in self-pity; a visit from my friends usually works wonders. After they have listened seriously to my (Bridget Jones-like) drama, they always manage to get me laughing again quickly. Most of the time, my problems are humorously put into perspective, leading me to conclude that it’s not as bad as it seems. Whether my problems are big or small, my friends pull me through everything, effortlessly. Okay, okay, a bottle of wine plus my friends: that’s the best remedy for almost anything.

And that last part (minus the bottle of wine) has even been scientifically proven. A large-scale study from the American Michigan State University shows that friends have a positive influence on our health and well-being. Additionally, it was found that family, on the other hand, has little influence on our condition. Well, you don't choose your family after all.

For this research, two studies were combined, with the first involving about 30,000 people aged between 15 and 99. It turned out that participants who valued friendships more felt happier and healthier than those who placed less value on their friendships. Since I can already feel intensely happy just thinking about having such wonderful friends, I’m not very surprised by this outcome.

In the second study, 7,841 American participants aged fifty and older were asked about the quality of their friendships, how understood they felt, and how often they were disappointed. Participants who found their friendships stressful were more likely to suffer from chronic illnesses. Respondents who saw their friends as a real source of support, on the other hand, were relatively healthier.

Both studies also inquired about family, but family members apparently have very little influence on our health and well-being. Friends thus have a more positive effect on our health than family. According to lead researcher William Chopik, this is not surprising at all, as you choose your friends yourself: ‘They provide an outlet. You can share things with them, and they are less likely to judge you. You consciously choose friends. Family ties can also be serious, negative, and monotonous.’

Many researchers suspect that having friends makes you happier. According to Beate Volker, professor of sociology at the UvA, there are two theories that explain this. First, contact with friends helps you relax and thus experience less stress, and less stress is good for our immune system. The other theory is that friends help you heal faster when you are unwell, for example by doing groceries for you or cooking, but also by listening to you and making you feel less lonely. No matter how much sadness I have, when my friends show up at the door with a bag of monkey heads from Katja, I immediately feel like a happier person. I find the healing power of friendship to be magical. And no matter how sweet your family is, with your friends, you can simply turn to them for anything without feeling judged. So as I said in the introduction: your friends are your best medicine.

Sources: onlinelibrary, RTL