Even about the lovers of Harry Styles

’Do you know what Watermelon Sugar High is about?’ My love looks at me just a bit too mischievously from behind his driving wheel as we drive through Basilicata towards Puglia. ‘Breathe me in, breathe me out, I don’t know I could ever go without.’ I get it. Our Harry likes a bit of oral activity. Since I had a few hours (about seven) to kill during that car ride, the big Google event began. First up was Harry's audition for The X Factor. And yes, there was a fool who didn’t want to let him through. Then followed a search for his exes and I can tell you: that list is longer than my Saturday receipt from Albert Heijn. I’ll pull out a few highlights.

1. Nicole Scherzinger
The The X Factor judge and former Pussycat Doll gave Harry the green light at the audition and said: ‘I like you, Harry.’ She put her money where her mouth is when she met him twelve years later in a slightly more mature version. Harry ended the board game and Nicole came up with a statement that Harry didn’t always smell very fresh under his armpits. She wasn’t thanked for that; neither was I, by the way.

2. Daughters of
He walked with Erin Foster (the daughter of David Foster) and had romantic fun with Rod Stewart's daughter. Oh, and talking about daughters: a recurring love phenomenon in his tracklist is...

3. Kendall Jenner
It was on and off and then on again and off again.

4. A lot of Victoria’s Secret models
Sara Sampaio, Georgia Fowler (the rumor is that his song Kiwi is about her because New Zealanders are often called ‘kiwi’. By the way, Harry has quite a thing for fruit-related songs, but that’s beside the point), Nadine Leopold, Cara Delevingne, Kendall then and Camille Rowe.

5. Taylor Swift
Oh, if these two would just have offspring... That hasn’t happened yet in the form of children, but there are songs written back and forth that reference each other. For example, ‘Style’ and ‘I knew you were trouble’ by Taylor are said to be about Harry, as well as ‘Wonderland’ and ‘Out of the woods’. Harry’s ‘Two ghosts’ would be a direct response to Taylor’s ‘Style’. Although Harry denies it, ‘Daylight‘ would also be a big reference to Taylor.

6. He loves the old
From his first famous love to Olivia Wilde and Nicole Scherzinger; Harry loves the aged and wise, and don’t we love Harry even more for that?