Dear Johan Derksen II

You gave an update, so I will too. Because of course there was a follow-up about the candle issue. You nuanced, but already warned: apologies would be absent. And you also indicated in the stand-up teaser with Wilfred that you ‘luckily can handle criticism well’, placing yourself in the victim role.

You explained why you came up with this terrible story and that truly spoke for you. We live in a woke era where everyone measures each other and we always point at others instead of ourselves. Because you didn't want to be that way, you also put your hand in your own bag and fished out a story from the past. To let Johnny de Mol know that he was not alone. Something like that. But instead of the vulnerable confession, your attempt missed its mark. Quite a bit.

What keeps gnawing at me is that you said the day before yesterday that the candle was ‘introduced’ and mentioned that for such an offense you could now receive a prison sentence. Last night, the candle was suddenly only planted between the legs (also terrible, but just a bit less traumatic); that doesn't seem like something you'd be thrown in handcuffs for. I'll let it go which story is true. I truly hope it's the latter. You have many words in your vocabulary, but sorry is not one of them. Like a sulky toddler, you sat with your arms crossed refusing to apologize. That would be hypocritical, so many years later. But was a sorry for the way it was told and a small mea culpa from the laughing cannon on your own right really that difficult?

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