These things you let go of after your 25th

As a little girl, I always dreamed of getting married and having children, preferably around my 27th, because I thought that was very old at the time. But now I'm almost 27 and I'm in total panic about this plan. I feel like life only starts to get a bit fun from 25 years old. Or well, I found life before that quite entertaining too, but I have the feeling that I'm becoming calmer now and better understand what makes me happy. I'm finally starting to get a tiny bit of how it works, that's what it really comes down to. Emphasis on a bit, because often enough I still have no idea what exactly I'm doing here on earth. But well, I have at least been able to let go of the things below after my 25th, and that makes life a lot easier.

1. The relationship status

Fortunately, this is increasingly less the ‘goal’ of my generation: having a relationship and only being with someone you are very sure you will be with forever. But how the hell do you know that? That can't be predicted, right? I'm now in my fourth relationship, and if I really had to marry the people I thought I would grow old with, I have a lot of weddings ahead of me. So I've just let go of this idea. Every relationship teaches you something, and it doesn't have to be forever. Moreover, not being in a relationship is also very valuable, and I have enough friends around me who are very happy with themselves. That's perfectly fine too.

2. Having to keep everyone friends

Recently, I've let go of quite a few friendships. When I was in my early twenties, I was juggling all the balls in the air, but now I'm becoming more selective about the people I want to spend my time with. The feeling of having to maintain relationships, I have no desire for that anymore. Additionally, this is also a natural process; we go through different phases with different people. Some friendships are forever, and some people come and go. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as you get energy from the people you spend time with.

3. That you can't switch careers too often

Life is short, and that's why I want to try and discover as much as possible. We have to decide so young which path we are going to take, while you can only find out in one way: by just doing it. The idea of making one focused career choice and sticking to it, I have completely let go of.

4. Fear of missing out when you're lying on the couch on a Friday night

Sometimes I really feel like a grandma, but I can still find it so nice to stay home on a Friday or Saturday night. Just the idea that many people will be feeling rough the next morning and you won't, I can really enjoy that intensely. Additionally, I no longer feel any unrest that I might be missing something on the weekend. That was very different a few years ago. Am I really getting old?

5. That you have to sleep in on the weekend

This point naturally goes hand in hand with number four. After all, those who go to bed early on Friday don't need to sleep in. In the past, I would typically stay in bed until around two on weekends, but nowadays I find that a real waste of my time. Even if I have stayed up very late (which happens often enough), I still prefer not to get out of bed after ten. I think that's really very mature of myself.

6. Feeling guilty about saying ‘no’ to something 

Whether you have a birthday or a festival that ‘everyone’ is going to, I find it increasingly easier to say ‘no’ to things I really don't feel like doing. I hardly do anything against my will anymore, and I can recommend that to everyone. Of course, sometimes you have a ‘commitment’ that you can't get out of, but you can feel for yourself what has priority and what doesn't.

7. That there is a ‘right’ way to handle money

I admit: I spend most of my money on eating out. For a long time, I tried to cut back on this because I felt guilty about it, but now I realize that it actually makes me very happy. Of course, you shouldn't get yourself into debt, be able to pay your fixed expenses, and always keep a ‘savings pot’, but beyond that, it's really up to you what you spend your earned money on.

8. That things go according to your own plan

As I started this piece: I have deviated quite a bit from my own planned timeline, as I still don't feel the need to start a family. And so we continuously deviate from all our plans, while new and beautiful opportunities come our way in the meantime. This is by no means a bad thing, as long as you embrace this fact. ‘Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.’ John Lennon really has a point there.