12 x things you recognize when you're not a star in the kitchen
One of the few resolutions I have again this year: cook more. At the moment I am still very motivated and have already cooked quite a bit. I also don't want to hear (from myself) in a month that I'm too busy, I just have to keep making time for this. I don't have the utmost confidence in it, because I'm unfortunately not a natural kitchen princess. Therefore, I am sharing twelve situations, especially for all the clowns in the kitchen.
1. An omelet can also serve as dinner just fine
Why make it difficult when it can be easy? You can also eat eggs just fine in the evening. Add some tomatoes and lettuce and voilà: a delicious, easy, and nutritious dinner. Okay, you will still be incredibly hungry afterwards, but that's why you have snacks at home, of course.
2. You have three standard and successful recipes
When people come over for dinner, you have three recipes you can choose from: the so-called adult meals. These dishes are always a hit, as they are worthy meals that you can serve without shame, and because you have made them hundreds of times, they don't stress you out anymore.
3. The other meals come from your student days
All other recipes (except for those three hits) are better not to serve to your guests. These are the meals you brought from your student days that really shouldn't be made anymore, but are still very tasty and easy. Think of the omelet above or the infamous pasta pesto.
4. Salt and pepper are the only spices in your kitchen
I am always so jealous of people who have a spice rack in their kitchen, with those cozy jars on it. Unfortunately, my spice supply doesn't extend much beyond pepper and salt. So whenever I want to try a new recipe, I first have to visit various stores to get the right spices. I hope you understand that I find this already way too much hassle.
5. You are missing a lot of standard equipment in your kitchen
Not long ago, I wanted to make mashed potatoes, but unfortunately, this mission had to be abruptly halted because I didn't have a masher at home. Apparently, this gadget is supposed to be standard in your kitchen drawer as you head towards adulthood. Well, now I know that too.
6. New recipes give you tension instead of joy
Making a new dish is absolute hell. All the tension that comes with it really can't be good for a person. It starts with gathering all the ingredients: this list is often so long that you actually get heavily discouraged beforehand. But it gets even worse when you are actually busy. Time management, for example: everything has to be in the oven or in pots at the same time, but I only have two timers, so how am I going to manage all this? Moreover, no one, and I mean no one, is allowed to enter the kitchen when I am trying out a new recipe. Because there I am waving sharp knives and I am completely unaccountable.
7. You have never heard of a third of the ingredients
Back to that gigantic ingredient list: you have never heard of at least a third of the products, let alone know what they look like. So it's basically mission impossible.
8. Your dishes always have a different texture than planned
Whatever you try to make, it always has a different texture than you envisioned. Your sauces are either too thin or too thick. Recently, I made a stew for my girlfriend, who then claimed that I had served her a disgusting soup. Well, that was the last time I cooked for her; she can forget about it for now. But well, she probably doesn't mind that much.
9. You have no patience to let that pot simmer all day
Every time I make the same mistake: it clearly states in the recipe that it needs to simmer for at least an hour, and yet I think that a quarter of an hour is enough. Well, then you naturally end up in trouble and end up with a rather tasteless meal. Patience is simply a virtue in the kitchen.
10. You are incredibly proud when you do put something professional on the table
Now for a brighter note: when that new dish actually works out, you are really over the moon. You want to hear all evening how incredibly delicious the food was and how talented you are. Often you throw in a comment like: ‘If I just had the time for it, I could really cook very well, because I have a knack for it.’
11. You own a lot of untouched cookbooks
At home, my cookbooks take up about an entire shelf, so that looks quite professional. Unfortunately, half of them are untouched and the other half has some stickers and folds, but nothing has really been made from them.
12. You regularly order food
Last but not least: when the kitchen is not your favorite place, then UberEats certainly is. After all, cooking takes a lot of time, so sometimes ordering is just much more efficient and in my case, it's a lot tastier. But well, I have to stick to my resolution for now, so this one doesn't apply to me for the time being.
