Science says: people who talk to themselves are actually doing well
‘Come on El, you’re just going to do this.’ ‘But if this sentence is here like this, it actually means the opposite.’ ‘Let’s see what we have here.’ ‘Okay, then we’re going to exercise now.’ ‘What are we going to eat tonight?’ This goes on all day for me: I just can’t stop talking out loud to myself. Sometimes I feel just like John Nash from ‘A Beautiful Mind,’ that beautiful movie about a mathematician who suffers from schizophrenia. Do we all talk to ourselves? And so often? And why do I completely think people who talk to themselves on the street are crazy, but give myself the benefit of the doubt?
I have good news for all the people who like to have loud conversations with themselves: it’s actually really healthy behavior and there are a lot of benefits associated with it. That sounds good, right? Let’s start at the beginning: how does talking to yourself come about? According to British psychologist and writer Charles Fernyhough, we learn as children to talk our way to solutions . It starts with a parent encouraging the child to do something, for example, completing a puzzle. Later, the child starts talking out loud to themselves about the steps they are going to take to complete this puzzle on their own. As adults, we have that conversation more often internally or still out loud, in the form of a dialogue with ourselves.
Research shows that your brain works more actively when you articulate things out loud to yourself. For example, when you are looking for something and say the name of the object out loud, you activate the visual properties of your brain, which then help you find it. This really works, because when I misplace my keys, I always ask myself out loud: ‘Okay, where did you last leave them?’ Nine times out of ten, I find them easily afterward. Talking out loud also stimulates our memory.
It also provides better focus. Talking to yourself helps you concentrate, ignore distractions, and it can calm you in stressful situations. When you articulate things out loud, everything becomes clearer for yourself and you can better organize your thoughts. In the past, I could only study for my tests if I could talk out loud, which is why I always studied at home and never in the library. And still, I have to read every article I write out loud if I want to understand it myself. Quite exhausting sometimes.
As the example of the child and the puzzle beautifully explained: talking out loud can also help us solve problems. Step by step, we talk ourselves through something and tackle the problem that way. Sometimes I analyze a situation extensively out loud and hear myself say: ‘Why do you feel this way now?’ ‘Where did this start?’ ‘Is it relevant?’ During such analyses, I feel like a sort of Oprah, but it does help me.
Finally, you can motivate yourself enormously by talking to yourself. No matter how silly it sounds to tell yourself that you are the best, it can give your self-confidence a boost, and that’s what it’s about. By the way, my motivation mainly comes from encouraging myself to clean up or go to the gym, because even your physical performance can improve by talking to yourself.
