Chic boyfriend? Then you shouldn't use these words

A daughter of friends had a cautious fling and was invited to his family. Now this girl in question is not only particularly nice, funny, and pretty, she also lives in a house where you can play around with fifteen people at once without stepping on each other's toes. But old money, that's not her. So when she cheerfully wished everyone ‘enjoy your meal’ at what might be her future in-laws, there was a silence so painful that you suddenly heard the linen of the tablecloth shrink.

Now I find it particularly rude of the family to point someone out so explicitly to dance to a different tune than what is customary for them, but in case you step into a different environment, it might be good to know what works and what prevents painful silences. Unless you really don't care, then I'll clap for you too, because I believe in the principle of ‘everyone equal and everything is fine’.

Here we go.

• Carriage and not a coach
• Visit and not a visit
• Suit instead of costume
• Tie instead of necktie
• Shirt instead of dress shirt
• Sitting room instead of living room
• Cake instead of pastry
• Fridge instead of refrigerator
• Ski holiday instead of winter sports
• Marriage instead of wedding
• Cover instead of cutlery
• Vomiting instead of throwing up (this one was new to me too)
• WC instead of toilet

And if you do say ‘restaurant’, don't forget to swallow that ‘t’ and say it in French: res-tau-ran.

And wishing a good meal is, in some circles, therefore frowned upon. If you really want to say something, mumble ‘bon appetit’ or nod in satisfaction and take a bite. But only after the hostess has started eating, you understand.