Psychology says: these things are completely normal in a relationship
The Canadian psychologist Nawal, from my favorite Instagram account @thebraincoach, regularly shares interesting findings with her followers. So are you staring aimlessly at your screen too often at other people's vacation photos? Then definitely follow this account, so you can also receive some educational information during your regular scrolling. This way, I also stumbled upon an interesting post by Nawal about things in a relationship that are actually completely normal, but of which we don't always realize or think are ‘bad’. Here they come.
1. Needing space
‘I need some space’ is generally experienced as a huge rejection. But that is completely unnecessary, because occasionally needing a little space in a relationship is actually very healthy. It doesn't mean that something is wrong or that you don't enjoy each other's company, but this space actually helps to restore balance and encourages people to maintain their sense of individual identity. That actually sounds very logical, right?
2. Leaving some conflicts unresolved
As contradictory as it may sound: research shows that most successful relationships have unresolved issues that have sometimes been argued about for years. I’m going to pass this valuable information on to my beloved. On the other hand, couples who try to solve everything end up being much less successful. They believe that a difference of opinion shouldn't exist, and according to Nawal, that's a big nonsense.
3. Feeling attracted to others
Well, this might be a tricky thing for the jealous little ones among us, but the process of finding someone else attractive is really something natural and inevitable. Our brain quickly judges how people look and/or behave, and sometimes it happens that we find certain traits of another person attractive. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, unless you start acting on those feelings.
4. Being jealous
Jealousy is an emotion that, according to Nawal, doesn't just magically disappear. Extreme jealousy is certainly a thing, but healthy jealousy actually ensures that couples set boundaries, which leads to the creation of a safe and respectful relationship. John Gottman, psychologist and relationship researcher, says the following about this: ‘I believe that every person has a piece of lasting vulnerability within them. For a relationship to succeed, these vulnerabilities must be understood and respected.’
5. Going to bed angry
I always hate going to sleep after an argument; I prefer to sleep in peace and resolve it the next day, but sometimes, according to Nawal, it’s actually better to do so. For example, when you have early obligations the next morning like work or a meeting, staying up late can lead to sleep deprivation, which can even worsen the conflict. So there’s nothing wrong with continuing the discussion the next day, fresh and lively.
6. Not having sex for a longer period
According to Nawal, this occurs more often in relationships than we think and certainly doesn't mean that something is wrong. This can be related to many things, such as hormones, stress, mood, etc. Especially the wrong expectations regarding the amount of sex can lead to dissatisfaction in relationships. There is really nothing wrong with having less sex for a while.
Source: @thebraincoach
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