It's actually very healthy to feel a bit down sometimes

Sometimes I close the curtain just a little earlier than usual, curl up under a blanket on the couch, and give in to the bad feeling that lurks somewhere in my gut. Even though I am of the optimistic kind, I just don't feel happy non-stop. And that's a good thing, say the experts.

Last week I was in Malta and a local told me that the Maltese never say to each other that they are doing well or great. Out of kindness, because you don't want someone else to feel worse because of it. The Maltese therefore say that it's okay-ish and quite fine, but they express that with a lack of enthusiasm. This is the opposite world for us, because here you get a presentation in daily life and on social media about how great everyone is doing. One person gets a fat promotion at a ridiculously young age, another sells their home and travels the world, and no one seems to be struggling. While it is actually very healthy to feel a bit down sometimes. Evolutionary psychology even advocates for that unhappy feeling, as it increases our chances of survival.

The brain is designed so that humans automatically focus on negative things. Think of it as a handy working mechanism to protect you from danger. The nice thing is that a bad feeling also gives you the motivation to change your situation. But always wanting to be happy works the other way around. By constantly pushing yourself into a happy mode and expecting this from yourself, it feels even worse when you end up on the couch with popcorn in hand. Experts therefore advocate for a neutral state of being, so you don't go completely down the drain when you shift from a happy to an unhappy feeling in one go.

Being happy seems to be the highest attainable goal, but it actually works in your favor to sometimes feel the opposite. Psychiatrist Dirk de Wachter said in a lecture at Erasmus University that you should take the time to be unhappy. Don't run away from it, but allow it and talk about it with friends and family. It works in your favor to philosophize about life together, he states, because then you think about setbacks even before they happen.

Another important benefit of feeling unhappy: you discover what can still be improved. Often there is a reason for that bad feeling, and by giving in to it, you learn more about yourself. So what are you waiting for? Grab that bowl of tortilla chips with guacamole dip and call that friend. In the end, it will make you just a bit happier. And are you struggling with an unhappy feeling that just won't go away? Talk about it with a professional, because that's also very healthy.

Source: Bedrock