Research shows: this is where FOMO comes from

You know the feeling: you've had a long work week and collapse on the couch after your Friday afternoon drinks, completely ready to go nowhere. Unbeknownst to you, you open Instagram and it quickly becomes clear that you are the only one with this plan, because everyone else has something better to do. Your quiet evening is suddenly disrupted by the emergence of an uncomfortable feeling: you have FOMO. But what exactly is FOMO and where does it come from?

FOMO, or actually Fear of Missing Out, is a feeling that others are having more fun, or perhaps even a more enjoyable life than you. It evokes feelings of jealousy and has a negative impact on your self-confidence. The biggest culprit in the emergence of these feelings is the advent of social media. Platforms like TikTok and Instagram cause us to compare our normal lives with the highlights of others. This gives you a skewed view of what ‘normal’ is and it quickly seems like you have a much less fun life than your peers.

That all sounds perfectly logical, but how does that actually work in your head? Research shows that people have a natural tendency to want to avoid losses in their lives. Losing people, opportunities, and thus also experiences. Missing out on certain experiences has even twice the impact on us than actually experiencing these events. It's not surprising, then, that we sometimes get stuck in a moment of self-pity when we have to miss a party.

Another reason for FOMO can be described as the ‘paradox of choice’, which essentially means that the more choices we have, the less happy we are with the choice we make. That's quite unfortunate, because with our overflowing social calendars and the holidays approaching, it doesn't look like we'll be able to escape this feeling anytime soon.

So what can you do about those restless feelings? The most logical action you can take is to step back from your social media use. A so-called digital detox helps you shift your focus from what you don't have to what you do have. Do you find it too difficult to stay away from Instagram? Then take a closer look at your feed. Hide the profiles of people who tend to brag a lot about their lives and try to follow more people who post content that makes you happy.

Tried everything but nothing helps? Take it from me, there is light at the end of the FOMO tunnel. My 21-year-old self would jump out of her skin in disbelief when she hears this, but I rarely suffer from FOMO anymore. Maybe it's because I can now cautiously see thirty approaching or because I've learned over my years of experience that more often than not, nothing happens during a night out. Nowadays, I'm just happy if I can celebrate surviving the week on a Friday night with my couch and a glass of wine. The peace that brings is stronger than any feeling of FOMO I've ever had. So for all the restless souls among us: there will come a moment when you prefer a night with yourself over a night of partying. And believe me: you're not missing anything.

Source: HuffPost