Science says: these are the 6 secrets to a lifelong friendship
Friends for life, buddies until the last day. It sounds so cozy, but how often does that really happen? I am incredibly happy with the people in my life, but I literally don't speak to anyone from elementary school anymore. My longest friendships are around twenty years, and I think that's quite something, but I do know quite a few people who have known each other since birth. I find that quite special, and I wonder: is it really a beautiful click between two people or is it also a matter of timing?
Apparently, there is really a kind of science behind friendship and especially behind the question of why you remain friends, if we are to believe Psychology Today. According to the psychologists they spoke to separately (Blieszner and Adams), there are six secrets to a lifelong friendship. So if you don't want to lose your BFF, take good care of these six points.
1. Spend time together
Psychologist Beck calls this ‘accumulation’, or the simplest and most logical way to start and maintain a friendship. Well, it does sound logical of course: if you want to keep in touch, you have to keep seeing each other.
2. Look for opportunities to develop friendships
This is also a handy tip if you are looking for more social contacts: think about what you enjoy, what your interests are, and where you might meet people with those same interests.
3. Seize every opportunity
By this, Beck means that there can be a click between two people, but you must take every opportunity to explore that click further. It's great that you've met each other, that you like each other, but that can also fizzle out.
4. Have a regular time to see each other
Especially if you are both very busy, it can sometimes slip by to see each other. Therefore, it's good to have a fixed time each week/month/whatever to at least see each other. A kind of ‘ritual’ that is just yours.
5. Set good priorities in your friendships and friends
Beck suggests fantasizing about a life without a romantic partner, but with your friends. So buying a house with a friend, raising children with a friend, and so on. Often, people tend to give friendships less priority than partners, while according to these psychologists, that is not the right way.
6. Accept that you and your BFF are not perfect
Everyone makes mistakes, including you and your best friend. The secret is not to expect each other to be perfect or always do the right things. Many friendships have certain ‘rules’, but if you are a bit more flexible and forgiving, your friendship will have a longer shelf life.
Source: Psychology Today
