Statements that immediately reveal that you are 30+

Nothing to be ashamed of being thirty-plus, indeed says a mid-thirty. But it is a pity that it seems like you are walking around with a sign around your neck saying 30++++ because of what you all blurt out. Like this for example.

1) In the past… 
Every story and every sentence with the word ‘in the past’ in it. Everyone under 30 sees you as an extinct species the moment you talk about the past, just so you know.

2) ‘I’ll just stay home for the evening’
Of course, half of the socially anxious twenty-somethings think this too, but admitting it really puts you on the other side of the line. 30-plus-plus-plús and counting.

3) Grocery shopping
The fact that you even have the nerve to physically go to a supermarket already gives away that you are prehistoric, but talking about it is even worse. And we haven't even talked about doing weekly grocery shopping. Which is of course super efficient, but no one wants to admit that.

4) ‘Let me check my calendar’
This is the sign that all spontaneity has been knocked out of your life, but without a calendar you simply get nothing done after your thirties. It’s a necessary evil. Firstly, because the rest of your inner circle also works with a calendar and making appointments, and secondly because you are becoming increasingly forgetful.

5) Aches and pains
As soon as you are about one day thirty, the back pain starts. People over thirty talk about this frequently, often and extensively. Real thirty-somethings sometimes also grab their lower back when getting up, this is a very clear non-verbal signal that you are dealing with a 30-plus.

6) ‘That’s what the laundry is for’ 
Nothing is less sexy and older than 30 years than knowing how a washing machine works and also knowing that such a stain will indeed come out.

7) Signage
When someone asks for your location, responding with: at the house with the green gate on the right, the second street on the left and then after fifty meters (as if anyone knows how much that is) on your right. Live location, people. Live location. Most thirty-somethings actually know this, you might be dealing with someone in their forties here.

The nice thing about all this is that you really couldn't care less what people think of you once you turn thirty. Luckily.